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A Week In 10.01.2023

You ok hun? Sick of the latest and greatest from CES? Though there are some super announcements about some interesting technological advancements that will be happening in 2023, CES was mostly a flex. We’ve all got a Dall-E and a ChatGPT hangover haven’t we? Look bae, there are some very cool collaborations that will be happening in 2023 and that is something to get excited about.

Sound On

So let's get this party started with a huge collaboration between Polygon and Mastercard. Smiley Face! They've announced that they're going to launch this web3 accelerator programme, which is aimed at bringing budding musical artists into the spotlight by leveraging web3 technology and other blockchain-based innovations. A mouthful. But is this a long sentence to spell the end of Spotify? Or is this the beginning of a more fluid approach to how musical artists earn money? I, for one, have listened to just maybe one track repeatedly over the course of this weekend (let’s call it white noise or something) and I wonder how many mechanicals that artist earned? I would say if it's through Spotify, not very much. Perhaps this Polygon/Mastercard collab will give artists the opportunity to develop themselves a little bit more financially. With Mastercard as the wind in their sails? Possibly. With Polygon? Definitely, because Polygon is all about web3 and that means only one thing: disruption and god knows we need it. The rise of Pixelynx and even Oberhasli show us that we can go beyond labels to new purpose built environments and outlets. “Unsolicited” or “unlicensed” music (which is what we used to call unsigned bands) sounds so sordid when you look back but it could be that this is the push music needs. I'm really interested as to what this looks like from the perspective of ownership. With web three, it's really important to know that nobody owns everything because everybody owns everything; so with this being totally open and transparent. My existential question is, does this collaboration even belong to Polygon and Mastercard? Overall, it's fairly obvious. This is a massive marketing ploy for people to get excited about Mastercard, and er–Polygon. In a world where Dylan can sell his entire back catalogue for a few bob (see what I did there?) but solid artists like tstewart/machinedrum need more plays to get paid - it’s stupid. We have to support musicians and artists more than ever before.

It's Not Easy Being Green

It's always incredibly depressing when you start the year with yet another greenwashing campaign. I don't know how many times I can bang on about this before someone says “stop being a dick”. If you know anything about me you will know how for the past 3 years I have been talking about how digital can do so much more for design than sample production to landfill can do for climate change. Step forward H&M’s Loooptopia (three ooo’s because, reasons) and forget the greenwashing for a minute because this is some fugly shit. I want to tell you that this is a new immersive virtual experience inside Roblox within an environmental twist but I just went on it and I am here to tell you that it’s a dry old piece of crap. Listen, guys, come on. If you're using the metaverse in 2023, you are going to have to massively gamify everything that you are creating in this space, literally up your game and stop being lazy. Kids do not want to get in on your circularity thing because you are apologising for what you have done to our planet and calling it educating the future. That’s just contrived and rude. But don’t take my word for it - here’s fashion guru Amanda Cosco from Electric Runway: “I think given H&M's history of greenwashing, it's rich for them to say they're educating kids about sustainability. It's like Jeffrey Dahmer giving a lesson on human rights.” That’s the tweet.

Life In The Mumverse

Imagine what happens when you bring together Jessica Fletcher and the BBC well, you bring out what is obviously the kiddy version of what the metaverse is. They've been to see CES this week, and they're really excited to tell you that “where cartoon-like 3D representations of everyone will walk around, and talk and interact with others”, oh, and, “it doesn’t yet exist”. Tired old BS from an organisation who has better things to do than regurgitate Newsround. I mean, everything, literally everything has been shoehorned into this article. From Snow Crash to The Sandbox, Louis Vuitton, Nike, Coca Cola: everybody's mentioned in here. And in 2023, I think after three years of talking about it, everybody should know what the metaverse is now, because they all have opinions about it as well. A lot of people think it's crap. A lot of people think it's the power of good. I think the BBC has to stop talking a complete pile of shit and start focusing on the stuff that affects the business of the metaverse and how it is impacting one of the greatest shifts in technology employment over the last maybe 40 years if not of all time. It’s cute that Tom Ffiske is featured in this article, because he’s lovely. Inclusive, yes, but it’s almost Legz Akimbo levels of inclusivity.

Abe Simpson’s, Savage Advice

The former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan says “crypto is too dependent on the greater fool theory to be a desirable investment”. One of the architects of today’s debt economy, Alan is supposedly the voice of a generation, but obviously, it's not this generation. Thank you for the subprime scandal and I appreciate that you feel crypto is scammy (!) but I think you're conflating various separate points, just like I’m doing now. One important point that cannot be denied is the new economy, and the other part of this is about rip off merchants who pump and dump – that’s the fool theory. But these things are two very different beasts. No one's going to disagree with Alan about FTX, it was a complete sham but other crypto exchanges and economies are available for you to study and understand that clearly aren’t. There are some fantastic opportunities inside the cryptoverse and what Greenspan has done here is combine some sets of information that are either not in line with his thinking or a new economy that he is not a part of. Alan, put down your copy of Atlas Shrugged, you can be a part of this, we will happily have you. But something has to give if we are going to prepare our vision of the future in line with our designs on technology.

The Big Four

Mckinsey is very keen to have the last word in anything metaverse and with good reason, some of the biggest companies in the word rely on their safe pair of hands approach to business consultation. I love reading about metaverse business. I devour each printed line because it’s my business. So this particular story had me salivating at four key terms “reach its full potential”, I’m just joking, I mean the bit after that: “devices (augmented reality/virtual reality, sensors, haptics, and peripherals); interoperability and open standards; facilitating platforms; and development tools.” Hopefully you lot at the back are keeping up, but this means that your metaverse needs more metaverse. I wrote an open standard in 2021, are you using it? Most luxury creators are. What are you contributing to the inclusivity of this fine multiverse? Please don’t say VR goggles because I swear I meme the lives out of you all this week. But think about companies like Teslasuit, or Nak3d, or even tune into my meets this week where I talk to Justin Edwards of Verse Digital where he talks about middleware as being one of the most important things about the metaverse.

Make Your Own Entertainment

WTF Man City.

Let me set the scene. In 2021 and 2022 everyone, yes, everyone built metaverses that no one needed or asked for. It's really surprising that businesses were able to sustain themselves in a world where people can just change their minds and close the laptop lid, because most metaverses are about as fun as wading through a field of wet cow poo. However, slippy hill takes no prisoners. Look, first FIFA and that disastrous world cup metaverse and now Manchester City's having a go at it. They've created an official video with virtual avatars running around the stadium. WTF is this? Surely this is just a pants Football Manager? So why doesn't Sony just commision the good Football Manager in the metaverse for everyone to participate in rather than the partisan footy walled garden of fanship? Isn’t the whole purpose to virtually destroy the virtues of the opposing team? Then WTF is this exactly? Can we get Miles Jacobson on the line please? NOW?

That’s enough metaverse for this week, I’m off to compare my DNA with a banana.


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