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Now that the noise of MVFW has petered out (how did that go by the way?), it’s back to your regular weekly dose of wry and why in our beloved metaverse. As well as this week’s news direct to your inbox, I’m also cooking up some sweet Metacrunch meets… episodes for you! In the meantime, we’ve got some killer collabs in the offing, and if you have a product that you want to reach a wide(r) audience, let us know by dropping us a line. 🕺 The Hokey Cook-ey 🕺 Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Tim Cook has found himself in a bit of a conspiratorial situation where he's seemingly half-in and half-out of the metaverse. Was it only a few months ago that Apple’s CEO pooh-poohed any suggestion that his crew would be down with the metaverse. He said “I’m really not sure the average person can tell you what the metaverse is.” This month? He's kind of into it, but with a Zuckerberg style caveat: “I'm not interested in putting together pieces of somebody else's stuff” ah shiz, he’s gonna make a metaverse, isn’t he? This is a bit like buying a VR headset for your dad. He knows naff all about it until the headset goes on and then BOOM! He’s an expert. To be honest that’s everyone on Linkedin right now too, so…. So he, Tim Cook, not my dad, is the everyman in this conversation, all of the millions and trillions, or tens and maybe hundreds of VR and Metaverse users currently in the world that couldn't be bothered to go to Metaverse Fashion Week (basically everyone) can now find themselves being experts in the metaverse via Apple. Thank you, Tim Cook, for making my job even easier. “I've told you a million times, do not exaggerate!”🙄 As metaverse event numbers drop considerably, spare a thought for Yugalabs, and give ‘em a little back pat for the bravado of “that’s what we were aiming for anyway” as a mere 7,200 people descend upon that weird Otherside trip I was talking about a few weeks ago. 90 minutes of sheer… I don’t know what. Who creates a 90 minute metaverse experience? What happened afterwards? Did they just not stay in it? Did they leave? I'm so completely confused by everything that Yugalabs does. It's absolutely ridiculous, hypey waffle. To me, and my feeble gamer brain it feels like 7,200 people don’t need some stupid contrived elitist trip, they need to be acquainted with WoW, LoL or Medieval Empires or something. Have any of these people heard of Steam, FFS? 🍕Cornering the Market🍕 When I read this headline I was like YASSSSSSS! Because the way that food and drink is converting, via NFT, is quite something. I have just completed work on a wonderful NFT project for the last few months which I’m really proud of, and it relates to the hospitality industry too. Having seen it with my own eyes, I know how important it is to future proof every consumable lest we’ll be left behind. So, when I read about there being a Papa John’s NFT, I read the article twice. I didn’t want to miss the chance of owning a complete set of those tasty crust dips that you get in the corner of the pizza boxes, but it wasn’t mentioned. Instead, this came off like some kind of barely there event that wasn’t entirely endorsed by the great Papa John themselves. Why the hell not? NFTs are cool, wait, any NFT is cool when it has utility. This offering does not. OneRare, whoever they are, is powering this collab and whilst they proclaim to be a “gamified foodie metaverse” (me either), I don’t see anything here for the player, for the pizza lover, what do they get? Oh wait, “Much like Starbucks and other brands that have entered the metaverse, Papa Johns has plans to turn this into more of a loyalty experience.” So they’re just going to borrow the loyalty loop and create a kind of metaversal points program? Hold the dips, I’ve completely lost my appetite. ❌The Metaverse is not Crypto (Repeat to Fade)❌ Another week, another stupid press release; this one is by a guy called Bitcoin Billy. Yes, really. I know a song about him but it’s not an accurate depiction. At all. Listen people, when we talk about the metaverse, we've got to be really careful that we're not pushing on crypto, because crypto, in most senses of the word when it is associated with the metaverse, can be a bit pumpy and dumpy. Compared to say, when it’s a game like Bitcoin Miner, and then it’s a game with a Bitcoin element. My argument about pulling crap into the metaverse is that it muddies the waters like you wouldn’t believe, Remember when Facebook rebranded? That’s what you get for rebranding your social media ad platform—a bunch of real metaversers desperately scrambling to disassociate themselves from datacrap. And the story is not that different because at most RobotEra is something like a game, I mean, it’s barely there as a builder. Trust me there are a good many more ways to create this type of experience and call it a metaverse. First MAKE A GAME. Then, MONETISE IT. Not the other way around. I've had a go on it, and it's pretty rubbish. It's got some kind of story associated with it, but the graphics are just pixelated and nasty, and it's very limited. Bitcoin Billy’s conclusion has some truth though “Metaverse cryptos will continue to evolve, without a doubt.” But in my opinion, the more we web3 a good game, the more powerful game NFTs will grow. ↩️ Bend It Like Bitcoin ↪️ Oh hello, a press release from the Seychelles—famous for a million things and being a paradise island for tourists, but football? Never! “OKX is the world's largest crypto exchange by trading volume and a leading web technology.” Fair enough. OKX are bringing us a collaborative fan experience featuring OKX ambassador and Manchester City player Rúben Dias. In this you're “empowered” to follow some of Rúben Dias favourite training techniques and benefit from his coaching and performance tips. Rúben Dias has played for Manchester City since 2020, and Portugal national team since 2018. Now for the irony, courtesy of me, couch observer and all round lazy person Kelly Vero. This bit isn’t part of the press release from the Seychelles but kind of obvious when you think about it: You are sitting on your fat arse on the sofa, checking in on the latest performance tip from Rúben Dias. Scroll, stop, watch, go and get a can of something sweet and fizzy from the fridge. Receive some kind of POAP to say you have listened to Rúben’s wise words about keeping fit. Now, back to the doom scrolling. I can see what they’re trying to do here, but collaborative doesn't mean interactive, and I wish it did because NFTs actually mean something in my world. Rúben is doing all the running here, and you're doing all the earning, ya lazy sod. I’m just sayin’. ✈️ Mile High Club ✈️ Finally, a really amazing use case for NFT is that isn't fashion and beauty-related! Tech travel startup Travel X is helping an Argentinian airline by providing NFT tickets, yes, you heard that right. They don’t stop. The firm “expects a handful of other air carriers to adopt this model by the end of the year.” Yes. This. Flybondi is the first to offer travellers the option to activate NFT versions of their tickets which allow them to make name changes on the reservation or transfer the tickets to someone else. Look, I don't call that utility, but bravo for this. And using Algorand as their blockchain provider is a bigger plus than the Swiss flag because this spells climate change activism. Algorand is pretty good at carbon offsetting by virtue of “negligible energy consumption per transaction”. So they've obviously thought this through rather than just messing around, which is what pretty much everybody else has done in this A Week in Metacrun.ch wouldn’t you agree? However, I think it needs a little bit more work in terms of how the utility is going to work inside the Flybondi experience. Is it a loyalty or is it just a gimmick for you to make changes to your ticket? Bureaucracy, according to them, “is holding back some of the larger legacy airlines and such companies have also shared concerns about losing revenue linked to penalties for no shows.” But that’s not utility. Travel X says they can increase demand as they're unlocking a lot of use cases right now. “Early adopters will show the data and how this is bringing value not only to its customers but also to the headlines.” What a cool way of closing that story out? I for one will be very glued to Travel X to see how it develops—and I promise to bring the news to you, like I always do! That's enough Metaverse for this week: I'm off to play Settlers of Catan. Rest well Klaus Teuber, who died last week. From Gary Gygax to Klaus, aren’t you proud to be a gamer?

This week I was fortunate to attend and host at Steel Media’s Pocket Gamer Connects in London. A cast of thousands and a full diary of parties in and out of the event, I was privy to some absolute corkers of secrets and gossip. Some 2,500+ game developers were in attendance and it’s a doozy of an event (and waaaaay better than GDC—in my opinion). At Pocket Gamer Connects, and because the London event is always in January or February, it’s an almost crystal ball into the future, so I’ve got a few hot takes for you thirsty tech bitches. A Grower Not A Show-er It was really interesting to explore the possibilities of where we're going with mobile technology and more importantly, how the user is adopting new tech. One thing that's definitely true in mobile technology is that we're saying a really long goodbye to Google and Apple. They haven't performed well for us, and, as developers, we've performed amazingly for them. The relationship between Apple and Google and the mobile developer has not been reciprocal for some time. With the additional headaches where these titans have been continually adding new laws, new regulations, new ways of doing things, and NFTs: it always seems to be in the favour of Apple and Google and not the end user or the mobile developer themselves. It was therefore really refreshing to explore what is out there, and how people are looking at different ways of being able to distribute their games, entertainment, or experiences beyond the obvious distro platforms. One of the biggest things that emerged was the hardware as a service. Of course, there are lots of different devices, but the hardware manufacturers seem to have doubled down on distributing apps, games, and entertainment. This isn’t anything new, we did it before 2007, but then we got into bed with the Californian tech bros. In 2023 (and probably since 2021/22), we'll probably start to see much more emergent activity on platforms such as Samsung, or third-party providers such as Digital Turbine, even multiplying through payment and growth provisions through companies like Bango (Dale Lawrence’s presentation was awesome). Go West A lot of discussion was aimed at areas outside of the usual North American/European regions. There were loads of speakers from different development areas: from the MENA region all the way to APAC. My thought is that overall, the process of European and North American game development has, to this point, been incredibly comfortable, hugely sure of itself, and, wait for it, dare I say complacent. I can’t help but keep my eyes on studios such as Nexon (they did MapleStory you know), who are starting to really explore the possibilities of what they can develop within Europe and the North American regions on a wider scale implementing a totally different business model methodology. Companies from Netmarble, Smilegate, and a handful of Chinese companies are now starting to look at the possibilities that Europe and North America have on offer, as well as the Middle East and North African regions. And speaking of regional development, it was great to see that Trade & Invest British Columbia came to Pocket Gamer Connects to talk about the endless tax relief and funding that is available in Canada. One thing that you know if you work in game development or any type of innovation/content-based sector is that ideas are really cheap. Turning those ideas into something that's tangible is really costly. So how do you get supported? Well, in order to realise your dreams, no one really does it better than Canada; they've always been very strong in this space. Whether it's in the French Canadian regions, or whether it's in British Columbia, but definitely, it looks like Canada is not taking its foot off of the accelerator any time soon, creating more knowledge transfer partnerships between games and creative media by bringing a richer seam of developers that don't just develop games, but also might be cinematics, VFX, etc. Bleak House On the second day, I listened to a lot of talks and I walked around a lot of stands to really get under the skin of what the activity and more importantly, what the appetite was like inside a community which is relatively post-pandemic—and though had a strange productivity spurt went back to normal quite quickly. What it did show me was that there were a lot of new businesses and a lot of new studios cropping up over the course of the last couple of years. From near sourcing and outsourcing to brand-new studios that are really just focused on their own IP and content. For me, I thought this was the most difficult part. If you're very fresh and you're looking to be able to break into the industry, networking is vital to extending your business development and your profile. Who is gonna hold those doors open for you? A lot of conversations I had with new developers over the course of Pocket Gamer Connects resulted in them telling me candidly that there had been moments recently where they'd wanted to give up either because the European funding outlook is pretty dry, or because investors, though there, are pretty reluctant to take a gamble on fresh studios. The Dark Destroyer Of Dreams When it came to NFTs, web3, the dreaded metaverse, and Blockchain gaming, etc. I was really fortunate to moderate a panel on the NFT Know-How track with some real luminaries that had, like me, solid game experience; and who are creating at speed and scale inside an area that was both new but actually not as weird and disjointed as you might expect. I was hopeful through listening to these, yes, guys, that the possibilities open are focused on versatility in everything from virtual currencies to payment and how NFTs are being used properly. Yes, somewhere in this vast marketplace, something or some brand is doing it properly rather than pumping and dumping crap into everyone’s lives. It was also lovely to see a hybrid of game devs and non-game devs coming together in the NFT, Blockchain, and Metaverse tracks to be more inclusive. Nice. The Metaverse track cometh, uggghhh, and before each speaker started the main meat of their pitch, we had yet another definition of the metaverse. To be honest, I thought last week in Davos was bad enough where someone who shall remain nameless addressed the audience at one talk by telling us what the word avatar really means. I puked in my mouth a little bit. It’s ok, I swallowed it back down again. I thoroughly enjoyed my tracks, and yeah, I presented for a full 4 hours, starting with Patrik Wilkens digital and virtual influencers and their rise to the mainstream, where they are doing pretty damn well by all accounts. That talk from Patrik was echoed today as I walked around the Hallyu Korean Wave exhibition at the V&A, where a good 30% of the exhibition was focused on digital avatars, digital fashion, and digital experiences as a whole. The aesthetic of the future is as important as the role of AI in my most humblest of opinions. Humble nothing, I will fight you. Back at Pocket Gamer Connects, it felt good to exercise honesty and exorcise lies. I wasn't alone in my doubt and caution towards the current climate of NFT creators and developers because as usual—for people who haven't read my world trading standard for luxury NFTs—everything is, for those mountebank and sham artists, so completely open and transparent, that without regulation they don't need to do anything which is completely unacceptable. There is regulation when it comes to certain elements of NFT, and in my opinion, and as we all agreed, on my track at least, there should be more regulation to protect users and consumers. If You Want It Darker... I was a little bit disappointed that quite a lot of the presenters at Pocket Gamer Connects who were talking about NFTs could not really give me concrete answers about timelines, roadmaps, and price points. It feels as though web3 and NFT is still a little bit of a grift, and when asked pertinent questions, some of these studios and developers couldn’t provide a tangible outlook beyond their next brand partnership or their next drop. That left me cold towards whatever it was they were presenting (and in most cases, I’m still not sure what they were on about, and I actually work in this space). The fun didn’t peter out, fortunately. Marcus Pullen—who is more of a futurist than he thinks he is—presented the metaverse as a constant stream of consciousness as a vision not just of where we came from and where we are going to, which is the usual churn of futurist diatribes, moreover, he talked about how we are applying specific methodologies from the past to where we are in this metaverse. Generally, I don’t enjoy the repetitive nonsense of quoting Neal Stephenson and William Gibson, which everyone reaches for when they aren’t entirely sure of the audience, but overall he provided a real supportive overview. From his work with Wunderman Thompson to board games, I think we all learned a lot. F-A-S-H-U-N Patty Toledo hosted a mammoth panel about inclusivity. Jon Hibbins hosted Andrew Douthwaite from Dubit who is killing it in Roblox. But the heavy stuff was seldom resolved. When Mike Ahyow talked about laws to protect us online that had not been touched since 1988 and Tony Pearce discussed monetising verch in the metaverse—I mean, who wants to develop something for nothing? Not me—philosophical discussions and near future discussions about how we're going to fix some of the problems that have dogged us over the course of the last few years were, like cold cases: still unsolved. We all agreed that a crypto winter is a crypto winter, and that we should all just probably have a bit of a breather. We should be planning and strategising what it is that we're going to achieve when this crypto winter is over and work towards that. A lot of the people who were at Pocket Gamer Connects as developers, publishers, or creatives within this space didn't feel in the slightest aggrieved or upset by what had happened during the previous phase. In previous articles that I've written, it's a crypto winter: we have to roll with the punches. It hasn't just been a crypto winter either. It has also been a fiat winter. We’re going through an economic crisis where we're glueing the smashed vase together but we can still see the cracks. Should we be pointing the finger and laying the blame? The smashed vases are everywhere. From the UK transport system to prison reform in the US. The idea that FTX and TerraLuna or Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX and TerraUST and Do Kwon have somehow been instrumental in the world economy collapse just seems a bit insulting to the people who are working really hard to try and overcome some of the obstacles either from a security or a content perspective. Pocket Gamer Connects showed me that the metaverse, web3, blockchain and blockchain gaming, and even NFTs are as fertile and as rich a seam as they ever were, if not more so. Look at Yahaha—they are doing crazy business. So, regardless of what people keep telling you about how the metaverse needs to be rebranded or how NFTs need to change their names, or that game developers think NFTs are crap, be damned! There's still a definite appetite and interest out there, and games are just getting started in this space—building empires of technology, currency, economy, and content—the games industry is gonna steal your girl and you won’t even notice it happening because you weren’t there to stop it. So it’s funny that our new messiahs in this space couldn’t even be bothered to grace us with their presence in London. Games as the driving force of the future? You’d better believe it.

This week's news is a lovely mixed bag of hope. Hope that the O.G Metaverse has finally found its spiritual home, and hope that in order for me to add new metaverses to my ever-popular weekly metaverse chart; someone will do some engineering on the servers that support these brave new realms because frankly? I’m disappointed. The Sound of Magic 🎼 An opera you say? In the Teatro Real? But I don’t live in Madrid. Wait, what? In the metaverse? What sorcery is this exactly? Well darlings, though I would love to tell you, this metaverse didn’t even load so I can only hope that something touting itself to be the first ever opera in the metaverse went well. Uttopion which is Spain’s first metaverse (there’s a lot of firsts around here—they’re so firsty!) has some server problems. It looks like it could be a nice space to land in, but not today because of an “invisible force”: I’m assuming Nikolai Gogol is using the force since this is Shostakovitch’s adaptation of his satirical masterpiece The Nose. I prefer Diary of a Madman and Dead Souls if I’m honest. I can wait. Which games investment company has pulled its support for a well-known metaverse citing one brutal portmanteau? Vaporverse. Because This is My First Life 🎮 Habitat, Whyville, Habbo, Entropia Universe, SmallWorlds and Kaneva, are just a handful of the dead and very much alive virtual worlds that shaped out 80s, 90s and 00s. But what’s missing? Second Life, of course, is like Johnny Five—and Linden Labs, the proud parents of possibly the OG of metaverses have just announced that they’re bringing us a mobile app. Along with Oliver Kern, I often harp on that the metaverse is mobile. It’s becoming an annoying mantra (because I keep chanting it whilst I write my new book) Yes it’s taken 20 years (YES! 20 years!!) to get here but aren’t you glad? On paper, I am literally screaming for this to work, but in practice? I’m scared. I have so many questions more than they’re giving answers, but I had a sneak peek of how they’re trying to bring the classic desktop version in a streamlined deliverable for mobile. Should the competition be scared too? I would probably say yes. In a way I hope it doesn't look massively like the desktop version because I would love the opportunity to see some modernising of the current IP because if it modernises just a smidge it will kill all your silly self-indulgent metaverses. Which web3 dev team forgot to grab the documentation for their soon to be launched top secret platform only to find it sitting pretty on a public github for all to use? Arthdal Chronicles 🚀 I leaked this story on my LinkedIn separately, which tells me that as the news went fully mainstream on Ryugukoku; such was the deep joy that I felt looking at an actual ecosystem, I almost went meta on myself. Whereas I might usually get a million comments from people arguing with me about what an ecosystem looks like, etc, I was gobsmacked that nobody argued with me about this one, and rightly so. Let’s bake the perfect ecosystem cake: take one Final Fantasy 15 game director (Hajime Tabata), the Japan Metaverse Economic Zone and an enterprise level rollout. How does it taste? Mmmm, so sweet. We’ve also got a new buzzword: DX, something which had previously stood for everything with Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chyna, X-Pac, and the New Age Outlaws. DX, which is not D-Generation X but stands for Digital Transformation isn’t new to anyone, but I almost want to flip the script on this and call it GX because it’s games transformation, more than just digital. It’s using gamification to penetrate an entire sector of industry. Visuals and immersive experiences are one thing and make total sense, but expanding the Japan Metaverse economic zone using a “Xenoblade-esque headless angel”? That’s just ridiculously perfect. It boils down to gamifying business economics, and is no-brainer to anyone who knows their Gil from their Glimmer. I feel refreshed, I feel like the kindness of everything that we've learned inside the games industry has been passed over to business without having some academic tell us what business gamification is. Who’s headed to GDC without the most important thing? Yeah, their product swag might not be in San Fran until Friday such is the nature of their (tight) budget. The Fabulous 👗 When a press release lands on your editor’s desk and they tell you to write something good about Decentraland Fashion Week, here’s how you don’t do it. First you don’t come up with what you believe to be a snappy sub like “Metaverse fashion is on the rise, but for whom?” because that’s drier than my mouth after a 9-hour flight to Mumbai. Then, you don’t go massive brands first, because you should tease your reader into that false sense of security that the fashion brand you’re most dreaming of will be there. You don’t list use cases last because the fashion industry is reading this and they know it. And finally, and this is important, you definitely don’t and must never ever tell the world how metaverse-first generative AI fashion brand Nak3d is offering free, yes, free items for your inventory based on the Netflix’s Wednesday and DC’s Spider-Man: Across the SpiderVerse collections. Yeah you don’t ever do that. The Tl;dr is simple: Metaverse Fashion Week is back, babies; and Nak3d is giving away some serious looks for your avatar in Decentraland for free during the MVFW, er, week. Last year’s stats were mega with over 70 brands participating to incredible reviews from BoF and Vogue to the FT and Yahoo! This year the most loved brands including Adidas, Coach, Dolce and Gabbana and Nak3d are going to be there to engage with their communities offering NFTs and free collections for you to download (that’s Nak3d—we’re the only freebie kids). Which heritage brand is launching the biggest under-the-radar web3 platform ever? You can bet that this is what most web3 startups can only dream of making. Run On 🏃 Another day, another digital platform launches, another puppy dies. That’s just how it is in 2023. This time is the turn of Madeium which at first glance made me think of this guy. Anyway, Madeium is trying to support brands entering the metaverse, which you know, is just something that we didn't ask for, but somehow we're gonna get it. So we might as well just enjoy it. Madeium has developed its own creative economy with NFC based digital twin technology for the protection and monetization of both digital and physical designs. My, my, that’s a full house on Metaverse Bingo™ isn’t it? What will I win? My flowchart is really simple: Do we need it? If we do, ok, but are we sure this doesn’t already exist elsewhere? If we can't find this anywhere else and we do need it, then yeah, it's a suitable use case. Any metaverse needs just one really cool thing to sustain its purple and blue or pink and lilac Tron-lines: it needs users. Lots of them. Here’s what I think, this is the perfect Hypebeast metaverse if they’re willing to dip a toe in, but until then? Madeium is a vanity project and I’m worried that’s all it is. Keep an eye out for a revolution in tv production over the next few weeks, the big broadcasters are looking for new ways to find their audiences and it’s right under their nose. That’s enough metaverse for this week, I’m off to humbly brag about Nak3d. You can listen to selected articles whilst you do your thing via our spotify playlist and did you know that we’ve got a brand new fun 30 minutes called Metaverse Done Badly where we take the metaverse news of the week, add a total luddite to the mic and discuss.

This Week in the metaverse, you're going to find headline after headline about Metaverse Fashion Week, don't be put off by the fact that there are loads of brands who are happy to share really low quality graphics in a barely rendered pixel stream for everyone to supposedly enjoy and therefore convert into sales. However, this week there are some really interesting morsels of information that I will most definitely interpolate with opinions of my own about our weekly metaverse chart—but do you know your Yahaha from your Breakroom? Daddy Uncool 🎼 I'm a massive fan of Jensen Huang. I just think it's awesome that the Nvidia Omniverse is a thing for industry where in previous lifetimes we would have to actually work with BIMs to know about BIMs. They also have it all: cloud computing, storage services and mega bloody graphics cards, so it makes me wonder why the incredibly awesome Huang would deign to work with Microsoft of all tech giants. Speaking of cloud computing: the newly announced alliance between Nvidia and Microsoft seems to be built around their cloud computing platform and Nvidia DGX Cloud to uplift the Microsoft Azure service (which, if you’ve ever used it, is one of the hardest things to use in the world). Azure is pretty rubbish. Everything that Microsoft does, involves the utilisation of a heck of a lot of bytes or cash for up/download. If you've ever used Microsoft Teams, you know that teams compared to Zoom is an absolute pain in the arse. Jensen, if you are reading this, what did AWS do to you? Not saying that AWS is the Zoom of storage, but AWS would hands down be my ware of choice for any metaverse given its extensive game experience. In the article Nvidia and Microsoft suggest that the relationship supports their metaverse but also that the DGX Cloud is offering AI supercomputing services and that was the point where my eyebrows raised. Do people think that supercomputing is a thing? Is someone sitting in a cave stroking their cat? People, supercomputing doesn't mean anything at all, it’s marketing speak. This piece is as fluffy as Blofeld’s pussy. This article is about Microsoft and its unending urge to get down with the kids. Microsoft is trying desperately to be the cool dad by hanging out with all of its kids in the various corners of the metaverse, cloud computing and AI. Is anyone still using Word? Make yourselves known. When you see an article about a Microsoft partnership next time, give that some thought. Which metaverse has not yet mastered the art of content descriptors? If you want something called a Farrah but you don’t know how it differs from a Karen, don’t worry, no one knows the difference and they can’t help you. Hype-r-zoo 🧳 You know the antiquated and outdated saying: a faint heart never won a fair maiden. Well, no one can argue with the bravery and maverick bravado of Travelzoo this week. Because on paper, their travel metaverse looks incredible (and a bit fantastical) because travel is much more than a wet week in Bognor Regis, it’s a world of adventure, culture and social literacy. It’s not Tomb Raider or Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom but you’d never guess it if you listened to Travelzoo’s ambitious pitch. I’m a believer that the metaverse and web3 is more than an NFT or Facebook flex; I see web3 as being a 3D internet, a place to go and try before you buy: something you cannot do in web2 or current game worlds. So I kind of buy Travelzoo’s big idea of how they will convert the casual metaverse explorer into a fee-paying frequent traveller. They're probably going to do a social experiment, I would imagine much like Fliggy did during the pandemic (which was brilliant by the way)—but the added joy comes from the conversion, for everyone. From the consumer to the travel destination everybody wins by virtue of living the experience through the metaverse before actually going there. I always wished that Wander would do something like this but we’ll see how Travelzoo’s plans develop against their dying trad travel competitors. Curious to know which metaverse is plagued with server problems? No two sessions will be the same, and neither will the session itself because this metaverse breaks in the middle and never returns to a memorable spawn point. Uncanny Valley Girls 💄 Are we in the age of Lil Miquela now? Or are we still in the era of Max Headroom? I love the idea of digital influencers, but only when it’s done properly. I don’t get massively excited about virtual influencer avatars because 90% of them are rubbish, but I'm encouraged by this article from marketscale because the use cases seem to be getting better and therefore the influencers will have to improve. With all that said, the metaverse has truly opened up a new world for retailers to reach new consumer demographics. The traditional ways of advertising are tired and probably only suit the previous generations (who don’t always have enough disposable income). The metaverse’s predicted value will be $800 bn by 2024. And because it's been so popular with everyone between the ages of 18 and 35 (you know, like gamers) retailers are now using this to pivot towards young and more interested demographics, to do stuff for them. Maybelline New York Falsies Surreal Extensions Mascara campaign will be largely digital influencer led and, alongside Gigi Hadid this will firmly establish Maybelline’s forthcoming Maybelline Metaverse. PacSun and Dentsu are doing it too; Dentsu in particular have been strong advocates of using this medium for retail but the proof of the pudding is actually in the eating, so, how do we know this works? Well, right now the results are anecdotal, which isn’t helpful. But that will change, and regardless of the retailer. Your new demographic wants a 3D internet, give them what they want. This metaverse has the messiest onboarding ever. Written by developers it assumes the players know everything about generating content inside its worlds. We don’t. Bye Felicia! Userverse 🎮 Coming up with a fancy yet memorable name for your metaverse is a toughie, isn’t it? When you search for ElseVerse, you get this article and a link to Buckhead which is something that excites me a bit more than yet another metaverse, Buckhead, it must be said is set in Elseverse which is a city in the Bulkhead universe, as opposed to the GamePad (a incubation of BullPerks) oh my god, is anyone following this? Anyway, for those of you still reading, ElseVerse has a story, an economy system (actually two, but one doesn’t count) and presumably no users, hence this article. This Metaverse project is part-game, part-user generated content experience. In its quest (excuse the pun) for avid players it has created a game system where players can launch a farm, open a store or explore new universes inside their specific world and tools creation toolset. The experience is free to play (that’s the economy system which doesn’t count), the other system is a blockchain based model for buying stuff. Allowing “players” to invest in land, mystery boxes, founder passes, rare NFTs and land plots in different destinations. The gaming experience is built on a meticulously developed lore. Businesses can benefit from opportunities in loads of ways like purchasing land. Plots, including commercial ones. My take on this is it needs users, and it doesn’t have users because I bet it went blockchain first as opposed to game first. It’s ok, these mistakes are frequent as crypto enthusiasts think they know what makes the perfect game. But it’s the users who decide. If they can’t play it, what good is it? A metaverse with community management problems? That’s a big fat no. If you can’t protect or even support your users, you’re use-less. Lab Brats 🥼 Skincare, games and entertainment—wut? Yet somehow Clinique will pull it off or die trying. One of the key issues at the moment for retailers is they're just not getting that foothold in the Generation Z or Tik Tok Generation (because they don’t understand it/them) and they need that new demographic sooooo bad. Let me tell you what I love about what Clinique has done first before going to Downtown Julie Brown for the rest of it. They optimised their experience for mobile before anything else, YES! “Gen Z and desktop is not a good mix” (sic). I feel like getting a neon sign made. Here’s the not so arresting epiphany though. Why the hell is this launching on their native url? Don’t they know anyone at Yahaha? Breakroom? VRChat? They could have put this experience literally anywhere else. Dudes, are you so sure of your website traffic that you will wager an entire virtual skinlab on this? User acquisition is not cheap. Who’s lying about their DAU? Daily active users are the basis for everything traction related, telling tales to the users and clientbase will eventually get you found out. Time to UA, isn’t it? Shinzon (IFKYK) 🇨🇭 Credit Suisse, Toblerone, Swiss neutrality, there’s much going on in our 8 million-strong land. After all, it's the birthplace of Xhaka. But The Nemesis? It’s easy to see why no one has ever heard of it. So let’s first of all uncover what the hell The Nemesis is. “A new metaverse experience, the perfect solution to engage users as protagonists in creating virtual experiences.” Is this how we describe experiences now? This is a really weird time to be alive. Anyway, DappRadar wants to play and together they’re doing some “co-marketing and an Easter event in April.” Do these new breeds of playable NFT metaverses specialise in clunky vocabulary these days? This is a really weird time to be alive. The Nemesis calls itself The NEM. It is apparently a metaverse. It's a fast growing metaverse and one I've never heard of, because if I had heard of it, I would have to go on it. I might even put it in Metacrun.ch’s top 10 of metaverses if it’s any good. So that tells you all you need to know about how fast this is growing. At the end of the day, and because I’ve read this article so you don’t have to, The Nemesis has reached out to DappRadar on a collab because it wants to test third party web3 software and DappRadar has it in droves. And that’s it. Holograms on a stool have only one use case: video calls. Tech wunderkinds know this. Why build a metaverse out of it? Get Nak3d This MVFW Vogue Singapore has done a really nice article about MVFW (Metaverse Fashion Week). Brava! But the first thing that jumped out at me was this: why is everything so blurry and pixelated? Anyway, now that the pictures editor has been judged, Decentraland and Spatial have joined forces for Metaverse Fashion Week, but that’s no reason to participate. The main reason is because Nak3d is giving away their Wednesday Addams and Miles Morales looks from their respective collections, for absolutely free. If you want something ready to scare rather than ready to wear then grab this look for 0 MANA. That’s right, it’s absolutely free! Feel your best spider self with Nak3d’s Miles Morales Look, for absolutely free too. And because Nak3d is platform agnostic, you can get the same look for free in all its unpixelated glory over at Yahaha. And, if you’re reading this and want high-quality fashion items linked to physical purchasable in season objects in your game or metaverse, get some! Is anyone feeling a space where gamification has to be taught first before retrofitted onto an otherwise beautiful environment? Cart before horse is not the one. That's enough Metaverse for this week. I'm off to the FROW of my dentist’s office for a crown rather than a tiara. Happy Metaverse Fashion Week everyone!

If there is such a thing as being jaded in the metaverse, this might be my first experience of it. I’ve seen quite a lot of metaverses this week - and you can always check out my weekly chart here. My overall opinion of these platforms is that they are getting less and less populated with users and more and populated with brands. Why? Well, a lot of it has to do with function. Do I have to learn Unreal Engine before diving in? Hopefully not, but some user interfaces do not pass the Mom Test. This week’s dive into the news presents some optimism for the first time in ages that somehow tech and virtual platforms might finally win against the hum-drum of ego and brand-centric flagellation. By the way, this week’s sleaze is brought to you by actual things people have said to me since I started my metaverse life. The Hunter from Thespiae In the metaverse, we’re searching for the best version of ourselves aren’t we? Because we're all digital in the metaverse, that version of us is the avatar. In 2023, the avatar is becoming more and more complex in terms of delivering exactly what it is that we're looking for in ourselves, whether it is technology from the incredible Move Ai, and Kinetix or what we wear and how we look through companies like NARS in Decentraland, or my very own Nak3d. Fortunately, the BBC is on hand (rather than haptics) to tell us exactly what the metaverse is, and why we should care, especially when it comes to avatars. This story particularly, is about VR influencers. Yes. It’s a thing. A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to contribute a sizable amount of information to the Business of Fashion’s article about virtual influences by the massively talented Gemma Williams. But this is a little bit different because this is us. We're creating digital versions of ourselves through our eyes (and headsets) and our voices, thoughts and chat. VR allows us to be able to do everything from get married to dance, but this is only news to the BBC. Fortunately, I'm here to tell you that VR is just okay. And despite activities to the contrary, I’m here to tell you that you shouldn't be using VR any more than 20 minutes in an hour to help your brain and eyes to rest away from the overwhelming experience of living in a virtual space. “I’m just the face of the metaverse, I don’t have the data.” Leading metaverse mind. Epic Pivot Meanwhile, over at Epic, who, since their $500 million FTC fine over at Fortnite, have announced that they're partnering with Lego: and this is old news. This is news that was announced last year, and it's not a big secret, everybody knows about it. Legos revenues have increased by 17%, again, not news. Lego is cool. So why would they lean on Epic to explore the “opportunity to create safe virtual spaces for children” which means interact-with-the-brand; when they fluffed up their big chance to protect kids at Fortnite? It’s a dog’s dinner of a relationship. I am passionate about the protection of children and vulnerable adults online, and I will not let this go: it doesn’t matter who did it and who got fined, it is not ok for kids and vulnerable adults to be a second thought in anything, especially a metaverse. I am scared. The Chief Executive Officer of Lego has credited its company success to investments in digital playing experiences, ecommerce and sustainable packaging. I like it. I get it. We all love Lego. But now Lego wants to do more things on the digital side, it's opening its investment in the space to develop more digital products. So, step forward Epic Games? Please don’t forget that Epic Games are the developers of Fortnite. However, not much Fortnite is mentioned in this article meaning that this is seemingly an Epic press release. Ok. When I was working on my children's metaverse in 2021/22, I would have exploded at the thought of Lego giving me a second look, but they didn't, Microsoft did though, so that was nice. But this is about commoditising children’s brands just like the Hasbro, Mattel, and Disney do. Cynical? Of course. Sceptical? Absolutely not. “We could check in as Mr & Mrs Smith and just be really incognito if you wanted? Our partners don’t need to know.” This guy is going to GDC. Girls look out for this creep. Yuga A Go-Go Did you miss the first elitist trip to a buggy clunky metaverse? Fear not! There’s a second coming (yeah you heard that right) on March 25. The Otherside is back though sadly, I’m not sure it ever went away. Yes, the least inclusive experience in the metaverse is returning for another trip promising hopefully more bug fixes and less flexing though I think the latter is not true. Look, The Otherside did well for its captive audience and sales of its associated NFTs. There’s a good reason why I don’t feature it in my weekly Metaverse chart and that’s because it’s a bit too cliché for me. It’s trying hard, very hard, to satisfy a niche market place where footballers and guys in tight trousers converge. To be honest at my age and experience in this space, it’s not my bag; but I’m not going to judge you if you dive in. Much. Yuga, if you’re reading, you need to focus on creating an experience that everybody wants to be involved in, not just the latest metaverse twits. “I know you said what the metaverse was in your talk, but between us both, it’s a load of crap isn’t it?” Games CEO at Pocket Gamer. No Touching You know I’m a huge fan of use cases in health tech/femtech and medtech in the metaverse and I love following the latest activations in these verticals to power the future of health. Mental health is a huge part of our beloved metaverse and how we interact is indicative of a variety of things from coping to creating. Innerworld supported by grammy-nommed singer/songwriter Jewel wants to use the power of the people in the metaverse for good and backed by 3 years of clinical research and 20,000 beta usage, they’re launching Innerworld to allow us to access not just warm fuzziness but also cognitive behavioural therapies and much more. But here’s the problem for me. I'd like a pair of legs, I'd like some arms, I want to be able to see myself. I don't want to undertake virtual therapy sessions as an avatar with only my hands and my torso in view. I'm interested in who I am, that will help me with my growth. Why can’t I have that? With 20,000 hours in beta, has Innerworld really spent enough time looking at the outer world instead of focusing just on their particular offering? Because a few platforms are already doing this fairly well. VRChat is a great example, say what you like about drinking games, and sex applications, it’s a social place where communities have taken it upon themselves to support each other. Roblox? Yes, they have their own yoga retreat, and they also have mental health retreats inside there. They have a natural propensity towards mental health and safeguarding largely due to the top heavy demographic of kids. Why must we always create our own Metaverse instead of using the technology that's already tried and tested? “Start your journey today with a free trial on all your favorite platforms.” They tell me. But Yahaha, Byte City and Breakroom aren't listed here. This is an app-focused experience. Ugh. Oh well. I'm interested in getting to the crux of how people are healing using the metaverse so I’ll be watching and reporting on this one particularly. “Your avatar is much better looking than you IRL.” Senior VC partner, USA. Metaverse: The New Age Yeah that’s a pun on a famous k-drama. You know me. I can’t resist. But seriously, if you know anything about me as a metaverse voyeur you will know that my favourite (metaverse and) country of all time is South Korea. And South Korea has committed $51 million (not Won) to support metaverse development. Again, this is really old news because they’re already $185 mil in the hole. But they are continually investing in the technologies that support the metaverse and if you’re gonna be in Busan later this year, I will be extolling the virtues of this spiritual home for future tech IRL. You see, my Korean friends believe this is a good, no, great opportunity to solve a multitude of tasks in service to the future. From the density of Seoul in population growth and automating systems relating to the movement of swathes of people around a city, to education. Yes the lack of interest in the metaverse is real… in the west. But worlds away from Silicon Valley (how’s that going by the way?) public and private sectors are launching metaverse projects in South Korea all the time, including the sprawling simulation of their beloved first city. My friend is just about to move there to work for a company in Dubai. Yes you read that right. Because South Korea does digital nomad visas too—come and get it you thirsties. “Look at this: KttyCollnz231, Shameygirl, and January28_TH, that’s how I know I’m not being catfished. These names are real.” Tech veteran, aged 56. Eau Yes Africarare, which is Africa's first metaverse, has joined forces with nonprofit organisation Innovation Africa to bring clean drinking water to people across the continent. Interesting how this one seems like a no-brainer and yet no one has cracked it yet. 480 million people in Africa still lack basic access to drinking water. These dudes want to change this. Innovation Africa have delivered over 800 successful projects across 10 African countries since 2008. Ubuntuland is a digital village which will showcase the organisation's life changing work. Through this particular village, viewers can learn more about technology in use in Africa, they will also experience success stories and witness the impact that this has had on Africa. That’s not all. A series of unique NFTs called Drops of Life will literally drop to support and enhance the utility of donation. My thumbs are up, can’t you see them? And the proceeds from the sales will be donated to support Innovation Africa's ongoing projects: that's all of the proceeds. In a world where we may not, for too much longer, have access to clean water or water generally across the world, not just in Africa the metaverse is a good thing. Admit it. If this is a really good opportunity to help, why does the metaverse feel like such a massive exercise in narcissism for the rest of the world? Messages in a bottle, please. “Are you busy because your avatar works for you, or, how does this work? Because I want that.” A video caller. That’s enough metaverse for this week, I’m off to get help for my bomber jacket addiction. First world problems indeed. See you at my Twitterspace event this Wednesday at 6pm GMT.

A full 50 years ago this week, I was born. I have somehow transited through life from analogue to digital without a single blink, gasp or why-are-we-doing-this. I have always believed that we should move ever-forward towards greatness, like Picard said, on a “continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations.” I listened to shortwave radio as a kid, I’d save my money and then blow it all on Pole Position. I put 10p in a public telephone to have a 2 minute chat with my friends before the beep, beep, beep ended the call. Can you relate? I built Playstation classics with actual gods. Then later I would get a hotmail account, I’d type a/s/l in any chat room and fell in love in Japan. I mastered DDR. I couldn’t wait for the Beastie Boys to release their new album on MP3 even though Suzanne Vega got there first. I tattooed Cloud, Red XIII and Vincent on my arm because my battlegroup is strong. I taught young people to make video games (some of whom are really high profile now), and I left them to work with robots. I bought bitcoin, and figured out NFTs from jpegs to metadata. I developed digital fashion and pivoted into speaking about everything that has changed from analogue to digital through the eyes of the omnipresent metaverse in everything we do. It’s been an amazing 50 years of diverse—and not always—but mostly inclusive technology. What a time to be alive. So let’s tread on a few mines and explore the news stories of the week. Shock/Split: Which newly separated web3 tycoon is hoping to pay alimony with crypto? CP-You Meow Wolf has created a living breathing metaverse. For a little while now they've been working on a larger entertainment complex called Area15 (see what they did there?) It's got 20 acres of a Universal Studios horror experience in it. Monroeville, PA seems like the perfect setting for this interconnective lollapalooza called Omega Mart—but this is Las V, babies. A few years ago, when I was at Gamescom, I went to the Cyberpunk 2077 event, and CD Projekt Red had created this narrative experience from inside the world of the game but IRL, which was seamless of course. Though I get what Meow Wolf are doing here, I feel a bit like this has been done before and better and not as an art installation. The Cyberpunk event, for me, was far and away better than the game (sorry guys), it was something that was native and understood to everybody that was in the room; it didn't feel as though it was some kind of strange in-joke between a bunch of developers. My feeling at the Omega Mart is that although they're doing something that's really intrinsically linked to everything, in our life and in our space, they've created a multiverse of multicultural experiences that homed in on the melting pot of America except not everyone is invited to understand, let alone attend. Sure, there are elements to what it is that they have created not from “hypnotic animations” of “energy and mood shifts” between experiences. But moreover, they created things that really feel like they belong to you, a kind of reverse engineered digital existence where everything digital is analogue native. Though it feels contrived because it’s not entirely inclusive, I believe that what they are doing here is attempting to put the end user (that’s you) at the point of CPU. An immersion which makes you the connective point or conduit. Connectivity in/and/of the metaverse is the only thing I really care about, and so should you. Interoperability is the basis with which we can have a longer conversation about inclusivity and diversity, but I don't really feel like we have to go backwards to go forwards. Overheard at a group pitch event: “What I’m seeing here is the British Leyland of Blockchain.” Egyptian PT I really love talking about the role of education in web3, you know I like to tell you that Hundo is killing it out there with democratising education for everybody (but mostly Gen-Z and Gen-A). Therefore, I thought I might enjoy reading about how NYU (the New York University, School of Professional Studies), is focusing on a web3 learning workshop to explore the underlying technology that powers innovation… in sport. I love a Sport Billy as much as the next person, and yes, sport management is really important to the future of media and entertainment but teaching and learning in a tiny corner of business management (yes I know it’s more than that), to uplift the basics of blockchain and digital assets and the utility in the sports world is really tenuous and I’ve been had by my team over a press release. This is web3 sport management for web2 peeps. Innovating upon things that already exist like trading cards, football cards, baseball cards, Panini sticker books is a FIFA/NBA/NFL/NHL wet dream. The course “presents opportunities for the next generation of strategists and consultants,” but damn it's very limited. Why don’t we just do the Hundo? From a recent Twitterspace on web3 “my plan is to be more like OnlyFans and less like The Apprentice.” The Seinfeld Solution Marketing in web3 is mostly done badly. Like that conservation piece on the apse of a mediaeval church where some god looks like a hamster: this is marketing in web3. Someone who tells you they are not a gynaecologist but will take a look are the types of folks who have no business in your, er, business. No one understands web3. And those who do understand it are quickly hamstrung by using web2 tools to do a web3 job. So what is the point in trying to develop a system, standard or platform to build marketing on top of? “There hasn't been a systematic way where people can interact with web3 businesses” according to the founders of Sesame Labs. And there's a really good reason for that. It’s because not everybody knows how to use web3 and after reading their pitch, I’m not sure they’re helping us to understand this area better. It is absolutely vital that we work with platforms and individuals who are adept and erudite when it comes to web3 businesses. But those skills are very few and far between because this sector has a lack of lasting value. Therefore, a flash in the pan doesn’t make for a sound business need outsourcing the marketing of a web 3 project unless you can actually show value and success ratios on both sides. Things like Facebook ads or Twitter ads we know aren't successful because they don't use on-chain behaviours. Companies like Google Analytics don't work because they can't track on-chain data either. So if the one thing that these guys are doing is focused on tracking, and being able to present information then that's amazing. But if you want exposure of your product into millions of mailboxes I would joke and say that you should reach out to me at metacrun.ch but like my original tattooist once told me “you don’t choose me Kelly, I choose you.” Incidentally, plug-plug, we’re the only publication focused on rankings for the metaverse and NFTs and starting this week, digital fashion. We're also the only Discord-first and Telegram-first heavily subscribed news platform. We try not to use web2 tools wherever possible. But this isn’t magic. It’s not a massive leap to be able to figure out how to strategise your marketing in web3 on your own. Conclusion? Raising $4.5 million to help improve web3 marketing tools just feels a little bit like a walled garden in and of itself. Open All Hours: Who started their successful career in game development by letting out a render farm from the alleyway next to a kebab shop in Balham? Meanwhile, in the games industry... Mino Games have raised $15m to create their Dimensionals web3 game. This is very cool for a couple of reasons: 1. The Mino Monsters series has always been web2, but now they’re moving to web3. 2. Game first to web3 is THE ONLY WAY to do web3 games and games NFTs. Some games industry “veterans” whatever, they couldn’t find a female advisor, so it’s another sausage fest, no problem. If the game is nailed in this early phase the rest will fall into place. Otherwise, why on Earth would Boost VC, Collab Currency, Earl Grey Capital, and Konvoy Ventures be all in with Standard Crypto leading the round? They’ve previously been invested in by SYBO Games, and Andreessen Horowitz raising $25m to date. But forget about all that because this is a stupid time to give up equity. It’s a great time to develop a user facing web3 experience. And if it’s anything like its web2 predecessor—this Fire Emblem meets Pokémon could be a nice little play to earner. Right said Fred on Twitter: “Unfortunately I can’t take on any unpaid work to help you make money at this time. Thanks for thinking of me though.” Auf dem Zug Paris Blockchain week is back for its 4th time this year. It's apparently the leading international conference dedicated to professionals in blockchain and web3. As someone who lives in the Crypto Valley of Europe, however, this is my first time hearing about this leading international conference. Mark your diaries for the Carrousel du Louvre from 20-24 March 2023 (that’s GDC time—see ya!) where some of the leading lights of the blockchain and web3 world will be in attendance. As someone who lives in the Crypto Valley of Europe, I have only heard of one such leading light in that list. Focusing on tech building, public policy, enterprise blockchain and open finance it all sounds really interesting. If you are really into this, then this is definitely a place to go. If you are mildly interested in this, then probably just go to the Blockchain Hub in Davos when you are next there because it is THE most exciting place for Blockchain and web3 lovers. Alternatively you can just hang out in the Crypto Valley of Europe. But if you like Paris, obviously go to Paris. Pen Island, Louisiana Speaking of spending a night in Paris, SHE’S BACK! To be fair, she never really went away. Paris Hilton; the self-proclaimed Queen of the Metaverse is hosting some kind of dating thing called Paris Land. Please, no, be serious, this sounds nothing like Love Island. No, this is Paris Land. PARIS LAND. Now here’s something we all definitely need: our perfect match. Paris, from Paris Land is going to provide players with potential romantic partners. In Paris Land they will participate in tasks, they will choose wedding rings and outfits. There will be love burgers, which are reminiscent of a dodgy cartoon movie I saw in my teens, rescuing a castaway (you know, which isn’t reminiscent of anything) and flirting with other contestants before making their choice of partner. Then they'll have a wedding with Paris from Paris Land DJing for the new couple. Wait… Is it 2001? Am I locked in some weird space time non-continuum where the last 22 years of feminism and gender freedom are effectively burned to a cinder like an overdone love burger? When I stopped puking directly into my mouth at the thought of having to get married. Again. My thoughts went to the Sandals Resort where you can go on honeymoon with a wife or husband of your choice and fantasise about the guy or girl cleaning the (pool) pipes. My point is, besides this idea of perfection and pink being somehow idealised for a dangerously bland generation, where is my freedom? My freedom to choose! No one gave me an island in World of Warcraft or RuneScape—I was free to a/s/l and flirt my greaves off. You know, Blizzard and Jagex were never brand activators. They cared (and still do care) deeply about their players. Something every single metaverse developer might have to learn the hard way. This isn’t Paris Land, this is Pen Island (this is also Pen Island). Sad face: Which metaverse giant is about to announce some of the most shocking layoffs in tech? World Wide Wobble When crypto data website Coin Kickoff looked at 1.6 million tweets from different parts of the world to determine which countries are in favour of the metaverse concept and which countries oppose it, my interest piqued. This armchair anthropologist was delighted to draw a line between the progressive web3 movement and the regressive nimbys who are literally more obsessed with what we call things and how we label stuff than what we actually experience. When humans first picked up an apple did they want to label it? No, they wanted to make sure it didn’t poison them. Yet here we are, with a bunch of countries who, let’s face it, are up there in the richest countries of the world failing to adapt to a changing landscape presumably because it’s not in their ruleset toolset. Meanwhile in Vietnam, Philippines, Ukraine, Nigeria and Indonesia these folks are McLivin’ it. When I looked at the list of metaverse lovers, it was clear that the thing uniting these folks is mobile first technology: gaming, banking, communication. The rich kids may well be innovative trying to name the metaverse “The 3D Web” (it will probably catch on) but they live in more analogue contactless societies that aren't entirely joined up with everything in society (how are the ID cards coming along in the UK, boys?) From healthcare to driving, from money to mums there’s a long way to go until the west is joined up, and why would they be? They’re way less digitally fluent than their African, Asian and East European counterparts. From now on I’ll be making all my metaverse projects focused on happy demographics in the metaverse, to hell with negativity! It’s 2023. That’s quite enough Metaverse for this week. I'm off to prepare the most hilarious Twitter space that you will have encountered in quite some time.

In a time when the world and their dog are metaverse experts (see also AI and chatGPT idiots), the actual OGs of the metaverse are being drowned out by the sounds of narcissism. I’m just being honest friends; it’s tiring to hear or read the divvys of the metaverse spouting untried and unrest sage advice that no one wants to hear from a place of no experience and even less: no shipped products in the space that they are spotting their brand of crap about. Fancy wading through web3 treacle? Read on… Ça Plane Pour Moi My mantra of web3, blockchain and everything metaverse remains. Focus on the player/end user first, always on the experiences first. When I read stories about how things are digital-first, metaverse-first or NFT-first, I just wonder whether these creators have ever thought about putting the consumer first, because that’s priority one. It’s therefore no surprise that a bunch of dudes went into a studio and created a metaverse-first band. And you know, that was their first crime. Then UMG came along and signed them because they’d previously produced Bruno Mars for god’s sake. Two strikes. Then Spotify said “hold my pint”, and to help artists (!) in this space make money, they’re setting up some kind of NFT thing to monetise playlists with token gateways. There are a good many crimes in that paragraph. Largely these are crimes against musicians who are just trying to get heard above the noise of guitars programmed into Fairlights or auto tuned vocals from talentless dregs. Read my newsblast from last week about Napster because what they’re doing seems to be made for creators. But this Spotify crap is a total flex. I won’t even grace you with the fact that this Gorillaz rip-off is all BAYC. My god, the Bored Apes are not ageing well. Poor Ian Brown. Anyway, what is the point of this? If it was a way to be able to reach a different audience, then certainly, I would applaud it for its innovation. But to be fair, Spotify already exists. I don't know if anybody noticed this, but it definitely already exists. So is there a reason to create a new model inside an existing model? The final undoubtedly goes to creative titan Mike Middleton (if you don’t know him, find him and follow him): “There is nothing in this that requires Blockchain technology tho. Pretty sure the Spotify API could accommodate this without a single ETH being spent. What part of this is "the metaverse"? Is it just "the metaverse" because Kingship are Bored Apes?” ‘Nuff said. Which web3 superhero is currently back in stealth mode following a series of failed “launches” of their NFT series? Woolpack Strong Here's some just awesome news. This has made my actual week for a number of reasons. First up, it’s ridiculous, secondly it’s a total no-brainer. Are you ready? The Cardigans’ favourite soap opera Emmerdale has decided to join the metaverse. That’s the tweet. For my international friends the elevator pitch of this particular soap is “Several families from a tight-knit community in the Yorkshire village of Emmerdale face various ups and downs in their lives and strive to overcome their problems.” ITV, the network responsible for both this mega idea and the soap itself, want to use the programme’s iconic intellectual property of sheep, horse brasses and biblical-named characters to create experimental prototypes inside an interactive virtual world of the metaverse. I worked on a soap about 20 years ago. A lot of my pals have gone on to do big things on big soaps but this was something that soaps needed to do during the transmedia boom of 10 years ago. Since the MCU somehow swallowed up everyone’s diary, is now the time to launch an Emmerdale metaverse? Well, as a K-Drama fan myself, and considering what Hotel Del Luna did in Zepeto I am very much looking forward to hanging out with Sam Dingle. Let’s see how it works. It’s got to be better than Interpol hasn’t it? Which VC legend is juggling a dual life of yachts, lovers and champagne whilst his partner looks at very different dull and boring instagram stories? Wedding Bells I did everything I could to not title this newsblast “Wedding Bellends” such is the overwhelming cringe I feel about this story. Having opened a wedding chapel in the metaverse last August to very little fanfare, Taco bloody Bell have upped the ante this Friday 24 February 2023, to bring two avatars together for a kiss and a wedding. This is a bit like when your pet dog takes a liking to your friend's dog and you stage a wedding in the back garden of your house. Your Frenchie wore a bowtie (and an in-bred breathing problem) and the bride, a Yorkshire Terrier, wore a tutu (and a stomach full of grass). You drink, they pee on your topiary then mount each other, and everyone goes home. I’m being mean. Because what I really love about this is the hubris of it all. The hubris of thinking that brand activation is something somehow new to any virtual universe have clearly never played Forza Horizon. And those who actually believe that weddings in hyperspace are new have clearly never played Runescape, World of Warcraft or EVE Online; you can't possibly know the level of stanning the game/metaverse title that leads people towards getting married inside a game universe. It’s big. But this particular campaign will be quickly forgotten and it’s really just another one in a list of brand activations, which is a term I absolutely hate. What I hate more about this is its weird, tacky, disjointed environment experience. It's just nuts really. And it typifies the attitudes of everybody inside the metaverse currently, it's laughable. Forget lawsuits about sexual harassment, the latest buzz swirling the games industry is a different kind of harassment: farting on colleagues. “Don't Try To Teach A Pig To Sing…” I love, love, love Judge Judy. She makes law both entertaining and informative, gosh, I don’t even know if that’s a good thing. Would Judge Judy Sheindlin work in the metaverse though? Probably not, so say goodbye to JJ and say hello to MM: Magistrate María Victoria Quiñones Triana of the Administrative Court of Magdalena. She granted a hearing in, wait for it: Meta’s Horizon Workrooms last week and streamed it on YouTube. I can’t get my breath over how big a flex for Meta this actually is. They are living rent-free in my head this year. And if you didn’t think the law was an ass when you were watching the live stream from the Old Bailey as various violent criminals were banged to rights, imagine how this looks on a platform where avatars have only just been modelled with legs. Back in the 1990s, like everyone who got a free subscription to Sky BSB, we were glued to the trial of OJ Simpson starring Lance Ito, Marcia Clark, Robert Kardashian, Johnnie Cochran and more. Like all good trials pre- and post-dating this one, it will always be the public who decides the outcome of a public trial. The metaverse is no different. It’s simply another medium to practise and perform. To prepare the Magdalena courtroom in Horizon Workrooms, the magistrate consulted the law through ChatGPT, yes, this is real, you are reading this correctly. Her honour wanted to presumably understand the jurisdiction on whether to allow the case to be held in a virtual setting. But this is a weird watershed moment for the law and just a huge flex for everyone involved except (or not) for the plaintiffs/defendants. Xiamen, China has already reportedly heard two cases in the metaverse. A Colombian judge presiding over the First Circuit Court in Cartagena said that he used ChatGPT to assist in his legal decision. Are we at the End of Days point in human civilisation yet? Are we outsourcing our thinking now? WHY? Because if we are, let’s all ready ourselves for the second coming of President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. I’m waiting… Which tech CEO is still using COVID as an excuse for dipping out of troublesome meetings. Word has it that she’s had it 4 times this year alone. It’s February. Man Things In really boring literature news, Neal Stephenson of Snow Crash fame, which in case you have been living in a hole that doesn’t have Linkedin, is a book that coined the term Metaverse. Le sigh. Well this word, or item, or god knows what, and some other stuff is going to be auctioned by Sotheby's. In a newsletter week where the flexes don’t stop, Sotheby’s has brought out an auction series called, wait for it, Infocalypse which is quite obviously made for guys. Who else would care about the continuous regurgitation of a mother crow into the mouths of her children with the word metaverse being puked back into her gullet? The snobbery of this corner of the metaverse is quite beyond anything else, this is a complete total and utter pile of self-indulgent non inclusive crap. The next person who even suggests William Gibson I will literally CAB. Which metaverse expert delivers the same keynote at every workshop? A few corporations have started to sideline this specialist who is more interested in publicity than actual deliverables. Data/Law Is privacy in the metaverse impossible? There’s some new research in exploring this particular headache. The idea that “how little data is actually needed to uniquely identify a user in the metaverse, potentially eliminating any chance of true anonymity in virtual worlds.” is both terrifying and hilarious in equal amounts. Where I come from we would call this cack handed planning. The metaverse has always been a bit cart before horse, a victim of circumstance (the pandemic) no one really had the time to protect their necks. Whilst I agree that we need to bring in something regulatory, I also understand that it's really difficult to create full privacy inside an open and transparent platform. If we're talking about closed platforms, then yeah, they've got to adhere to the rules of the law in the same way that we have to in video games. But in something that's open and democratised, “fiat” laws are secondary to rule engines or DAOs. In my opinion, and this is just my take, because my university is not Berkley but the University of Data Queens: Heidi Saas, Renée Cummings and Debbie Reynolds, (please go and check them out now,) I would be looking at being able to create something that is akin to COPPA wrapped around or placed inside a transparent platform service, and of course, using the DAO as a policy administrator. The lid could go on Pandora’s Box if the will was as open and transparent as the environment. That’s enough metaverse for this week, I’m off to Mumbai where the metaverse is still an innocent baby bird. Until I get back, why don’t you check out our extra special Spotify playlist (no NFT required) of past and present articles in the Metacrun.ch annals?

Over the last couple of weeks, I've talked about everything retro from the OJ Simpson trial to Y2K, from classic video games to Napster. This week’s news is a basic variation on a theme such is the lack of anything fresh and new in this space currently. I’m just back from India and I have to say, the level of innovation in web3 technologies out there is off the scale. As westerners we’ve become complacent about the future and this crop of news is about as dry as reading Oracle’s licensing conditions. If you know, you know. Double Bubble Digital twin technology is as old as me, actually, it’s 3 years older. And thank goodness for this mansplaining article about what digital twins are because I don’t think I would have been able to get through the rest of my career if I didn’t know this. For the last 2 years at least I have been in the trenches of digital twins, working with everyone from the Smithsonian Institution to Louis Vuitton, carefully crafting the art of the digital twin and though there was a big explosion of digital twins initially, it was quickly silenced by the metaverse. We use digital twins more than we think. Whether we're using them as environment props in games, or we are creating the latest looks for Decentraland’s Metaverse Fashion Week (yeah there’s digital twins in there too, I know because I made them!), we're using digital twins in some way or another without even realising it. Digital twins are very real, and they’re really good (the ones that I make anyway), but this article is shrouded by the metaverse again, and why? Because there is some kind of metaverse winter happening. A decline in “investment and excitement”? Really? I thought that was just Meta. The truth is that digital twin technology is as much a part of the metaverse as avatars without legs. We have only to glance at the Gartner Hype Cycle to know that everyone in the west is sleeping, struggling or, in the case of blockchain games, doing great thanks for asking. This article is asking me to focus: the NFT, the platform tech or the blockchain or even digital twins are becoming some weird amorphous blob and we’ve got to find one thing that each of us are good at and focus on it—that way we can turn this trough of disillusionment into an opportunity. And, if digital twins are as great as I think they are—why isn’t someone, something or some body doing more to secure IoT and AI in supporting the overarching tech it supposedly supports? Overheard in Prime Tower: “It’s scrambled egg on my trousers, in case you were wondering.” Memories of the Alhambra I have a phobia of MWC. There you go, I said it. A problem shared is a problem halved, right? The Mobile World Congress is everybody's favourite meeting every year. I have avoided this conference since about 2017, more’s the pity because if you are working in mobile tech—this is the one for you. One of the main reasons why I haven't been to Mobile World Congress for the last few years is because I watched Memories of the Alhambra, a Korean drama about an AR game that goes wrong and it scared the absolute bejesus out of me. Of course, it had one of the greatest innovations I've ever seen in it, which has only been 50% developed IRL. Notably this news story is about SK Telecom, but not specifically. It’s also about increased interest in our wonderful metaverse despite any doubts. SK Telecom is a South Korean operator and is making all the vomit inducing thanks to their Air Taxi. Think Korben Dallas meets Marty McFly and this VR simulator is heralding a new age of 5G. MWC is there to show advancements in this space and illustrates my mantra perfectly: the metaverse is mobile first, oh and then my other one (which I didn’t steal from Oliver Kern) and my other one about the metaverse being a device driven revolution (rather than a single access experience). So you can pretty much leave your fancy built-for-PC, “nothing” metaverse platforms at home because your phone is the only device you will ever really need. SK Telecom’s Air Taxi is just another demo/function that is part of a bigger metaverse experience. Bringing forth the age of 6G requires a tighter focus on 5G towards private network support and if you were at Camille Mendler’s talk in Mumbai last week, as I was, you will realise how important these next couple of years are. So for South Korea, a country who, let’s face it, has done more for mobile technologies than most of the western world, a small virtual reality demo has made as much of an impact as an AR game set in Granada that goes horribly wrong. Innovative coincidence? I don’t think so. Which new tech CEO has taken to letting her executive assistant do all her start-up pitches. No, no, not the power points, the ACTUAL pitching. Ixnay on the Tnfay Coindesk does a play on words, and so did I, but let’s face it, everyone seems a bit short of ideas in this new age of enlightenment and innovation. Building a tool to create AI powered NFTs is a bit lame when you think about it. It gets lamer though, if that’s possible. Here’s how. Using Dall-E or Midjourney you can create NFTs in the Binance Wallet using the Binance Chain (BNB). “You can turn your creative visions into NFTs with AI,” Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao said on Twitter. “Give it a try and show me what you make with it.” Seriously, why. It sounds absolutely ridiculous. And actually it is one of the most ridiculous stories I've read in a really long time. What I want to know is who is going to buy a picture of presumably yourself that you've created in Voilà, or in Dall-E and then minting it to make your own Bicasso (trademark pending, ugh). Surely this is a bit of a grift and a flex. And you know how much I hate a grift and a flex when it comes to NFTs. I love NFTs as much as the next person, I even created a standard for it. I have even developed a pretty awesome wallet for it. But I-AM-NOT-A-GUY, so it doesn’t even matter what I create for the world, I will never be heard or seen. Listen, if I see another guy with a twee and twizzled moustache who isn’t my friend Eddy or Whale Shark, I am moving to another planet. So if you think you've got a better handlebar moustache than those guys, send me some pics, I dare ya. Which trailblazing studio is struggling to secure funding due to their senior management team’s tone-deaf video edit of their current product trailer? The Year of the PR Survey “74% of survey participants say that they buy NFTs for status.” God here we go. Metajuice, who, as you can probably tell, is trying to get a little bit of press because they want even more users (remember that IMVU story we did a few months ago? It’s them). Well, their “team” surveyed over 6000 NFT users (they have 1,000,000 active VCOIN wallets but only 6000 could be arsed to respond). We don't really know anything about the demographic. We don't know how old these people are. We don't know anything. But what we're getting here is just a bunch of numbers, as usual, which really does negate any belief that we have in the metaverse or any associated platforms, and rightly so, this is baseless. And NFTs for status at a time when it’s slowly becoming a decent asset class standard? That’s just rude. The less people produce these absolutely ridiculous surveys, the better chance we've got of being able to establish a solid protocol inside this space. Next! Which well known web3 VC is adding hundreds of media products to their extensive metaverse stable? Term sheets aside, this VC is not as flush as they say they are. Crypto Spring has Sprung (Thank the Universe) Can blockchain gaming survive the crypto winter? Who writes this crap? Listen, we're coming out of a crypto winter, you absolute weirdos, why would you start writing about the crypto winter on 1st March 2023? Let me count the amazing companies coming out of this silly ass winter with solid products and one of the reasons why is because they went into the crypto winter knowing full well like everybody else that they were going to come out of it successfully. There are some good tips in this article about surviving the crypto winter, but the truth about surviving the crypto winter is to stop thinking about it like it's some kind of death knell to web3 businesses worldwide. What we should all really be doing is focusing on not whether the game is on blockchain, but whether the game is any bloody good because that's the only thing that's going to survive any market fluctuation ever. “I’ve already spanked two developers today, don’t make me spank you as well!” Overheard at NFT Paris. People, please. Yes, it’s International Women’s Day this week. I have been very fortunate to participate in a series of interviews led by NumberEight’s Enchantress of Numbers: Emma Raz. However, this story, hopeful though it is, isn’t about women taking up “53% of all STEM,” which is fantastic news, nor is it about “60% of women reporting they've implemented more than two Metaverse related initiatives in their organisations”, and that women are “20% are more likely than men to implement multiple Metaverse initiatives.” All possible facts. Though I have just mentioned Emma, there are a million other women in STEM who are killing it out there, but are they all leaders? Maybe. Some of them are, I definitely am. However, some women are still trying to get into leadership positions because their male counterparts are somehow better(?), smarter(?), well connected (definitely) than they are. That’s not ok (fashion tech people I’m looking at you). In Mumbai, I was pleasantly surprised and more importantly I was invigorated by the amount of powerful female leaders in everything from politics to software. I loved speaking to each and every one of them and finding out what their secret sauce for world domination was, and you know what? It wasn’t anything dissimilar from how western women punch glass ceilings. Things like “I’m bringing up a family” or “I want to be a good role model” or “I want to get shit done” or “I believe in my vocation.” These are the reasons why we do what we do. I would argue that the issues with women in technology including the metaverse are seldom aimed at wanting to be better than men. We just want to be equal. And how can we seek equality? This final stat was the blow that I didn’t need to read: “According to research published by McKinsey & Co, just 10% of metaverse funding and investment is directed towards companies headed by women.” Why? VCs need to do better if we’re gonna succeed at anything close to our male counterparts. And also as this is fairly old news and is still being published, it means that the needle has not moved one jot. Which web3 CMO has been kissing with confidence at parties all over Europe? If only her husband knew the kissee is his brother. Objection! Cointelegraph is exploring a little of what I touched upon in a previous week’s newsletter. Thanks for dropping by every damn week to see your name in lights, lads. This week’s conundrum? Is the metaverse testing the limits of what is legally possible? Look, holding a court session in Horizon Workrooms is a PR flex, nothing more. Meta is loving it. Take a look at my news story of last week, go on, you should be more concerned about the other metaverse platforms in the article which aren’t named. I would say that this particular article joins together the concept of an ethical metaverse and that magical KPI: privacy and data, something I also wrote in this newsletter previously. The mavericks of the metaverse will do their best to argue that transparency and openness is a control in and of itself, that’s quite existential. The protocols that will need to shift up a gear in the metaverse are the exact same regulatory requirements that we might have in, say, online games. Whilst I think that you can do anything in the metaverse (just like you can do anything in a massively multiplayer online game); these things are not, you know, mutually exclusive. They're actually very closely related. DAOs are our friend(s). That’s enough metaverse for this week. I’m off to bury Mark Zuckerberg’s metaverse whilst simultaneously wetting the baby’s head of his new AI project. Are there enough cigars in the world for this? Want more metaverse? Listen to our new Spotify article playlist whilst you do something really special.

It’s all gone a bit Y2K over at Metacrun.ch this week, it must be my age. There’s some strong birth-of-the-metaverse type shit along with some forgotten names hoping for something of a revival in this fertile future. I’m gonna slip on my best pair of hipsters and ready you for a muffin top and whale tail of news this week. Hot Blocks I just asked my other half what a collective of Shawns would be called. Or is that Shaun? Or Sean? He answered without blinking. “A Peer-to-Peer of Shawns” That’s exactly what I was thinking. When Shawn Fanning and Sean Parker launched Napster in June 1999 it soon caused more controversy than that time I was suspended during my GCSEs for satirising my 5th teachers in a worthless and frankly boring comicstrip depicting middle class twits on a crummy Nottingham council estate. Which is probably how Lars Ulrich felt when Fanning did a whole skit on it at the 2000 MTV Awards. To be fair, suing Napster was quite possibly one of the funnest things he’s done in his whole Metallica career (including that shit Carpool Karaoke that wasn’t). An-y-way, Napster is doing something which I’m a bit like *welcome-to-yesterday* about, why? Because Napster was made for web3. Even when it was web1 it was made for web3, even when that stupefied move into web2 didn’t work, it was made for web3. Now as old as most of my friend’s oldest kids, and almost as old as my first Dolce & Gabbana dress (I still have it by the way, it fits on my left shoulder) — Napster has this whole manifesto about how its newest acquisition Mint Songs will change the face of music forever. Giving something back to artists/creators is the credo of web3, this hacker-esque vibe that seems to be growing by the day seems only stoppable by one thing: corporate greed. As music and art businesses race to find their obviously male metaverse leaders, I wonder how long it will be before this flourishing outcrop of brohood finds itself nestled yet again somewhere between Mountain View Research Park and Sunset Estates Mobile Home Park. The verdict? More sexetary-era Timberlake please. Q: Which annoying face in web3 has had a few too many nights out lately? Is it possible for someone to be more annoying? 👎 Blox Stocks Roblox have had yet another great week building content for the kiddiwonks and awesome investment returns for the ancients. As you know my main beef with Roblox has always been that despite the 58.9m DAU, I’m not a 10 year old kid and so therefore what business do I have being in those kinds of places? It’s creepy. And, unless I’m one of the world’s top 10 Gen Z / Gen Alpha brands, what business would my brand have in there either? *Shudders* The rumours that Roblox might do a Fortnite and go cross-platform via Meta as well as the latest AI news — it’s been a great start to the year. In the words of the Techcrunch article, they have indeed weathered a storm or two, but the biggest storms might not come from the places we’re expecting. I would spend a long time looking at how Minecraft evolved (before Microsoft) and how those storms are still raining down on Minecraft players and Microsoft. Well done Roblox, but remember when kids grow up, we all grow up. Which alleged guru is running their business from crowdsourced valuations? The investors are not happy that there’s been no revenue in almost 18 months. 💸 Pre-Notch Is the metaverse therefore one big survival game now? Remember the golden age of the 90s and 00s: what a time to be alive! UnReal World anyone? How about Wurm Online? No? Ok then, Silent Hill, let’s go full survival horror, Parasite Eve, Fatal Frame - yesssssss. Now let’s add web3 and some zombies and wow the survival slash is back in business (though some say it never went away). The 00s were a headache for me because as a game developer, I couldn’t be less interested in zombies, nope, not me, I wanted vampires. Anyway, it’s 2023 and Undeads.com is a fab little game-fi experience combining NFT and web3 with player economics - sounds ok? Well your NFTs are safe and it looks like they have some utility too “The project has had 25 in-game smart contracts successfully audited by Certik as part of a 360-degree cybersecurity strategy, which works in conjunction with its security partner RedScan — the cybersecurity division of Kroll — to deliver a safe and secure ecosystem.” That works for me. They’ve also got a bunch of other cybersec supremos looking at mechanics and tech health as the game world grows. I must also mention on an unrelated but brilliant note that our lovely friends at Nefta.io secured a $5m round to develop, secure and stabilise game-fi networks on web3 systems and platforms effectively running the whole back end without any need to pull in this or that. They’re like web3 plumbers and there’s not a monkey wrench in sight. Congrats people! Which major game franchise has lost its production branch for the 5th time in 2 years? Their employers can’t get enough of ransomcode. 🎮 Meta Crocs We featured Vivienne Tam in our digital fashion chart this past week for good reason, she’s making a good fist of the metaverse by utilising its myriad technologies and services. Bbz, that’s what we want you to do. You know that I get a headache when some absolute plum tells me — or should I be more accurate and say mansplains me — how I should do digital fashion. Mate, it’s us girls that invented it so I’m gonna be a damn sight more discerning about the type of digital fashion on my plate, trust. I’ll be honest, as pleased as I am about the Vivienne Tam effect on New York Fashion Week, I can’t help but feel like this is just a bit too contrived for my palate. I love Charli Cohen, yes, I think what Matthew Drinkwater is doing at the LCF and beyond is nuts, I’m proud of what Nak3d has accomplished so far and guess what? None of us uplifted BAYC… except for Vivienne. Pfffft… Also, can someone please tell the fashion industry to start using game technology and stop building their own useless platforms? This is not 2021 and you are not Vogue. /Rant. Which digital fashion outlet is stalling big time? They say “even we can’t sell crap” 👗 Shop Box It’s all going a bit Second Life over at Decentraland lately. It feels as though Decentraland is all about brand activation (that phrase I hate as much as the word bullish) and it’s become the Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson or Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey of the metaverse. This week’s announcement that Dubai’s Majid Al Futtaim will open its “Mall of the Metaverse” just felt really butters for a sec. And because of the Second Life comparisons, I know that Decentraland don’t actually mind who uses their platform and for what ends so long as they appeal to their DAO/Foundation and tenet(s). This “mall” of the metaverse will be a virtual shopping mall and be the home of the retail giant in the Decentraland universe, think of it as a more hench version of the Trafford Centre (how is that going by the way?). Yeah there’s too much Y2K slang in here but I enjoyed that way more than this morsel of news. Which famed tech London frenemies are more tag team than arch nemeses? Word has it that they love to fight in the boardroom, but don’t talk business in the bedroom. 🫦 Feb Rocks! Black History month is megaaaaa! You don’t need me to tell you that. I have always loved doing black history month stuff in my job, it’s always given me a lot of joy to study amazing icons like George Africanus and Hazel Johnson-Brown. Incidentally and if you are interested, the amazing Kayleigh Oliver who is one of my all time favourite people and just a ridiculously clever CTO, launched FOBBS a couple of years ago to celebrate black British society. So imagine what a metaverse journey might look like to explore black history? Well, Time Studios' project “The March 360” does just that. Dr Martin Luther King is presented as part of the experience in his iconic “(I Have A) Dream” speech that is about the systematic problems of the zeitgeist which remain unresolved to this day. This and “Now is the Time” are available on MetaQuest and I have to say that it’s a shame that this isn’t more inclusive on the part of Time Studios. I have been fortunate to work on some great projects with the Smithsonian and even the Museum of London where the visitor has been able to immerse themselves without a $500 headset. I would have really loved something even more educational, actionable and accessible. It’s a shame that we feel we can tell stories to people who can afford to hear them. Save your pennies and slide over to FOBBS instead. It’s an awesome insight into the world of black history and it’s a passion project for everybody. Which games CEO recently admitted that they have a shower once a week whether they need it or not? Sounds like someone needs to switch that sweet scent of sweat for soap. 🚿 That’s enough Metaverse for this week, I’m off to burn a Panic! At the Disco and My Chemical Romance mixtape off of Limewire.

What are the big questions of the week? Mostly, “what the hell is wrong with the UK economy”, “are we wearing masks again” and “what are we having for tea?” but in the metaverse it’s much more about which way we’re all gonna jump. The problems you have with the nomenclature of whether or not to call something NFT or metaverse are laughable in certain corners of the globe where these magical words are a passport to innovation. Speaking of passports… No Change Immutable wants to change the game in 2023 They've created a passport system for web3 games. I'm a really big fan of Immutable, who like my fam at Nefta, knows exactly what they’re doing in this space. Yes, Immutable has created a noncustodial secure digital wallet that can be used for NFT powered games, but what about NFTs that aren’t games? What about assets outside of Immutable? I’m looking for interoperability in 2023, but not between just web3 games - I need interoperability in EVERYTHING. If it isn’t focused on everything from digital transactions (nope), to MFA and recovery (nope) then my problem with it is that I will need to get yet another wallet to do those things. What Immutable should be thinking about is what their users do when they aren’t playing games. One thing I can tell you is what those users will do very soon. They will take their games and assets (which should be 100% interoperable) and their digital transaction information everywhere with them, and they need a fully robust and agile solution for all experiences that they don’t currently have. Hang around in passportland if you like fellas, but your user base will vote with their wallets. Q: Which advancing age game dev CEO recently married his 23-year old secretary? It’s one way to show up to meetings on time, I guess. Hype Hype, Hurray! You know that I love to give Meta a kicking as and when I can. Today is maybe not that day, since it’s not fair that one day after their 19th birthday I would still be calling them Facebook. However, as I am starting to see a few clouds clear off the back of their recent $4.28 billion operating loss in the fourth quarter of 2022, I’m coming around to Meta(, but not the Zucc). We love it when a business overvalues themselves because we never think it will happen to us. Remember this nonsense from last year? Well, here’s an interesting take from Meta because what seems to be happening is a proof of the pivot. What do pivots cost? MONEY! $13.4bn to be exact. They cost money for anyone, regardless of the business size. If you want to pivot out of something and into something else, it’s gonna cost a few bob. As is quite rightly pointed out in this article Meta is still an online ad company. So as it pivots from one little bit or corner of the marketplace to another, it's going to record an operating loss. What isn't clear here is exactly what any of the gains are, from Meta over a period of time, which I suspect is probably more indicative of the marketplace than what their actual losses are from the perspective of, for example, sales of VR headsets. It would be interesting to get more information about what Meta is doing here. Because buybacks aside, it looks like this Silicon Valley bro is not done yet (though we wish he was). Overheard in Davos: “Look around you. This is not the future, this is the Bilderberg group… with booze.” Will you take $2 for it? When eBay acquired NFT marketplace Known Origin, we all took a collective deep breath. eBay was the OG of e-commerce at a time when Amazon was still selling books. With just a year between the two companies in age since founding, it’s interesting to see that eBay is looking at the future of e-commerce where Amazon is looking at the tech toolkit side of the business. From the perspective of this news story, in particular, which is focused on hiring key web3 roles since they acquired Known Origin last June, roles listed include “crypto counsel, Head of Community, marketing executive and others”. Is this another story of a pivot? eBay has always cornered the marketplace in community and community driven e-commerce, I mean, where else can you buy a Jason Statham blow up doll? So this new vision for eBay should be a cinch right? How they're focused on transitioning from traditional web2 community marketplace into the specifics of web3 will be an awesome insight, especially because they can’t fail at this. My take on this is that NFTs are coming back in a really big way; due mostly to their transformative appeal from physical to digital. NFTs when done properly carry a great deal of incredibly rich utility the like of which we've really only just scratched the surface of. Watch this space. Q: Which web3 hardman likes to be tucked up in bed by midnight? In one of his most recent soirees, all exclusive invitees were kicked out at 10.30pm on the dot. Give me a break The idea that a company calls themselves Limit Break at first made me cry because anybody who knows me knows I'm MASSIVE Final Fantasy VII fangirl and limit breaks are very important to me and Cloud. Limit Break is a blockchain-based game developer who incorporates NFTs into free to play models, and this time they're making history by securing an ad during the Superbowl. It's the first time that NFT developers secure have done anything of the kind during the most watched televised programme in the United States. The developers will then mint a limited number of their Dragon NFTs in one of the “most iconic minting events” (I’m pretty sure me minting orgasms has been a close second if not a tie for most iconic, but ok, I’m listening). Viewers who scan a QR code will be “able to access one of the 40,000 NFTss in the giveaway”. What I want to know is what do you get when Limit Break mints their NFTs? See my previous story on eBay/Known Origin. I want to know what you're getting. If you're getting something with inbuilt utility for a game, all well and good. If you're getting utility that is interoperable, well that would be a dream. But I’m scared Daddy. My feeling is this is just really focused on the Super Bowl and I don't know a damn thing about the Super Bowl LVII NFT Dragon initiative, but this sounds like bro code for “you missed the whitelist” and therefore it’s a huge flex. I hate huge flexes that are baseless. What they're suggesting is that doing this advert is an innovative way for investors in the crypto community to become part of the Limit Break community and you know the small print about that stuff. There are a great many other ways that they could have achieved community, but obviously these folks are in a rush, and the moment that you start to suggest that somebody's in a rush is the moment that I start to think ah, what have you actually got looks like it’s not a lot. So enjoy that Super Bowl AD campaign. But remember that NFTs are not just for the Super Bowl, they are life (or until you resell or forget you have them). Q: Which tech company is on the hunt for a new lead following an embarrassing trouser soiling incident in the boardroom? Smells like bean spirit. It’s Never Easy Being Cheesy Gather around, kids under 13: there's going to be a virtual Super Bowl concert inside Roblox during the um, Super Bowl weekend, event thing. If you want 10-year olds to connect with your offering, you got it! There’s millions of them. Back in the day when there were some really cool guerilla marketing organisations for mainly toy companies everything felt controlled didn’t it? Contrived perhaps. I get that. In 2023, these tactics seem really unnecessary when you think about Minecraft, Roblox, Zepeto etc. If you build it, they will come. I know quite a lot of 10-year olds lately because they're usually members of my family, and they don't have any money unless me or their parents give it to them. So I'm really struggling to understand what the uplift here is apart from brand awareness about Warner Music Group because I don’t know much about Pretty Bitch Music but I’m not sure that 10 year olds need to fast track to bitch, do they? Overheard in a Teams call this week: “Wait a minute, I need my wife’s finger to open me up on this page.” “I am not one of your fans” You know how much I absolutely hate metallic wings in digital fashion? Well, somebody saw my hate and decided to up the ante. The direction of travel that they've gone in is into banal weird virtual jewellery, from “cascading headpieces to golden crusted eyewear”. By the way, gold doesn't exist inside the metaverse and the specularity of which is going to be fairly difficult to render in a mobile space unless you're using Unity tools, which I can guarantee that quite a lot of these people will not be doing anyway. They've just basically decided that they want to create rando jewellery that you can wear on your head and look like you're in The Fifth Element without actually thinking carefully about the quality levels (which I can see in this god awful gallery in the article). I guess it’s time to go through yet another boring stage of stupid accessories that people will wear in their ridiculous girly games and virtual platforms, just like we had with metallic bloody wings. A physical industry worth “$292 billion by 2025” suggests to me that the standards of virtual development in this area are gonna have to up their game substantially to make even 1% of that market in this space. Though there are strong contenders for creating a solid sector to support the virtual fashion industry. One of my faves is Diana Broussard who literally kills it for Carolina Herrera. Instead of thinking about peacocking your dreadfully cheap crap through the fashion pages, why don’t you work on creating impactful accessory statements (like Diana does) and working on the digital product lifecycle management process, going from the atelier to the end user and back again, with very minimal waste? Because it’s too easy to change the world with one item when you can drag your priapic designs through every damn fashion-centric website. Keep feeding on the me-me-me energy, stylistas. That’s quite enough Metaverse for this week. I’m off to poke fun at some crazy pitches (I said pitches) for next week’s juicy bits.

Because life is a little crazy right now, I thought I’d further the salt and spice with some juicy gossip, think of me as your web3 Kenneth Anger (IYKYK). Let us know what you think? Ore-Ore-No Oreo cookies are cheap. Buy some Oreo cookies. That’s the tweet. But seriously, what do you get when you force cheap biscuits and dying platforms together? You get Oreo Cookies in Horizon Worlds VR. You had me at cheap. A variety of cookie-themed but ultimately limited gamified experiences (see Neos) are what’s on offer here and I’m torn on this one. Because what it looks like is that only people who can afford expensive Meta headsets can participate in this bizarre venture, so inclusivity loses in this campaign (yet again). It’s also really troublesome to have some weird Angela Lansbury-meets-Dorothy from the Golden Girls influencer, the legendary phoenix Martha Stewart, to lend some jazzmatazz to whatever the hell it is Oreo and Meta are trying to do. This campaign has a disoriented demographic, it’s completely non-inclusive and it’s confusing. What are they trying to do here? Are they trying to get people to buy more VR headsets or get people to buy more cookies? Answers on a postcard please. Q: Which usually conservative and tight lipped (and tight-wallet) games CEO loves a bit of ABBA? Who could it be? 🎤 CrAsH n BuRn Oh dear, this Porsche story just refuses to die. It's gonna keep going for 911 years. Do you see what I did there? Cue the sad trombone because collectors are calling this little drop “clueless” and I couldn’t agree more. Creating a web3 wreck is one of the easiest things you can do as a tech bro, but labouring the point with an ill-thought through campaign and a lacklustre sales strategy takes the cake. It all started with the price point: 0.911ETH—see what they did there? And it all ended with who I am I kidding, this nightmare is never going to end for Porsche. What they hoped for was an innocent enough brand awareness project to celebrate their iconic 911 sports car, you know the one I mean, the one where city boysies from the 80s do their best Howard’s Way pose beside an empty harbour to tell you that this is the best thing that will ever happen to you (and cars) if you buy it. Porsche then created a drop of just 7,500 NFTs for some other reason (in my opinion a 7,500 drop is waaaaay to many NFTs) and the utility, yes, they created utility, allowed the holders to access events and exclusive merchandise. There was also some vague promise that car nutters could help to design Porsche's “future in the virtual world”. I don’t buy it. The naivety of this particular campaign started with 0.911ETH which equates to something near $1,475 which is a lot of money for an NFT, I mean, if you listened to anybody talking at last week's PGC; no one was prepared to talk about price points, which I found really, really annoying. No, wait, I found it un-Bullish. Some critics suggested that a price point of 0.0911ETH, which is about $145 would have made more sense but the backlash from the Twitterati in the cryptoverse particularly, through phrases such as cash grab and pump-and-dump, which Porsche definitely isn't doing was pearl clutching. They just fucked up. That’s all. And it’s nice to see that a massive organisation has messed up like this on the world stage. Heaven knows that for every Porsche NFT cock-up there are a million worse failures in the crapper. If they had spoken to their end users as they developed their project they would have been in a much better position to understand what the price points would be for the crypto for this really important NFT but instead they just went ahead and outsourced all of their thinking to (I suspect) the third party minters and that’s a real shame. Want to know of a company who has an in-built web3 team with actual experience of minting inside a huge organisation? That would be Unilever. Overheard at PGC London: “They’ve got about as much chance of being successful at making a web3 game as I have winning at Family Fortunes.” 🏆 The Dreams Of Shillers This puff piece almost made me choke on my tea this morning. Apparently there are just three high-demand metaverse jobs that your kids should look into. Really? If this is the future, then tiger parents better get a move on, because we might not even be using the term metaverse before this year is out. Showing us the deets through the eyes of (some) people I’ve never heard of doing what seems to be side hustles, I can hardly concur that this is a must-do. I can however agree that everything from game design to computer science is much more relevant to the world of the metaverse than anything these influencers are doing. Let’s try to not put people on pedestals and let’s instead keep it real about the non-glamour of working in this sector. I’ll go first: Pros—New technology, fun people to work with, great collaborations. Cons—No money for innovation (only money for traction), it’s a massive circle jerk of the same idiots peddling the same crap at conferences, it needs game development to survive. Luckily, I’m busy in this space, very busy and though it looks really glamorous in here, it’s actually a lot of hard work. Heard in Davos: “I can’t go in there [the president of…] smells like ass.” 🍑 Log Line Jam Is Hollywood that bad that we need to democratise storytelling? Dude, storytelling is already democratised. Even Disney can’t own stories. But some biz, let’s call them StoryCo, somewhere, let’s call it Hollywood, wants to decentralise the telling of stories in movies. StoryCo has raised $6 million in seed funding to realise this week’s dream. What, isn’t taking a page out in Variety magazine enough for me to tell you that this is a bad idea? But is it a bad idea? Well, yes, yes it is. So there's an already good idea in Hollywood orthogonal to this and it’s doing great business thanks: Decentralised finance for filmmaking or production investment. That’s the tweet. Jeez how many times do I need to say this, stop leeching your crap ideas to raise your studios from the dead via the medium of stories. Instead, invest your time and energy into storing, financing and distributing on blockchain. I do not wish to sell my soul to some weird collection of DAOists who finish my sentences and I don’t want to lose my IP for the sake of “sharing is caring”. Q: Which new (less than 6 months old) metaverse studio is a front for an entirely different kind of business? Wink, wink. 😜 Wake Me Up Inside A&T Capital released their web3 trends of 2023, and I literally took just one thing away with me. Reports are boring. But seriously, Account Abstraction versus Externally Owned Accounts was the hot topic. As both are “are gaining popularity as they aim to achieve Web2.0-level security and user experience while making different trade-offs.” I say that AA is the way, because EOA provides a deal of limitation for a generation which is becoming more and more reliant on mobile-first technology. Also it’s a great bit of research as I approach the launch of my first wallet, made for the mom test, AA ticks a lot of the Solo Wallet boxes. Trends in exchanges, transparency and decentralisation and the growing importance of the MEV Market which essentially is “MEV is sometimes referred to as an “invisible tax” that miners can collect from users – essentially, the maximum value a miner can extract from moving around transactions when producing a block on a blockchain network.” Overall this stuff is massively bullish in the middle of a bear market but here we are. And the word bullish can just GTFO. My conclusion is that A&T Capital’s report tells us that web3 is going from strength to strength. No bad thing at all. “I love it when you host us Kelly, because I feel like your digs at our business models are done with love.”— Anon. 😮 Monkey Tennis Shoes Nike’s web3 platform is going to reward creators for virtual sneaker designs, so is it really a welcome to the creator economy or is it more about diversifying, outsourcing or democratising design? Since Nike created the dotSWOOSH thingumybob they have, wait no, what I want to say is that since Nike bought RTFKT they want to create more RTFKTs that they don’t have to pay that much for and can instead reward with the gift of sneakers, cold hard ETH [insert your preferred currency here], or money off coupons, probably. So not necessarily the greatest business model in favour of the consumer ever. I’m being salty, because what I think is cool about this is brand loyalty and connectivity. They have effectively created their own cute walled garden. Technically they shouldn't really need to do this, they have a mighty market share, but like all elitists, it’s better to give non-inclusive dreams than make inclusivity priority #1 with everything you create and develop. They don’t need to do this, but like all creative platforms before them, all your base are belong to them. Overheard at PGC London: “Did they drop that NCP?” 😂 That's enough Metaverse for this week. I'm off to find a lawyer for all this damn juice.

Three weeks in and the new year is really getting underway now: exciting new projects popping up and the trash products of 2022 have been left out with the garbage and the obligatory Christmas tree. Will 2023 be another experiment in recycling the same old crap? Let’s see. Shrink To Fit There's always something happening in digital fashion when it comes to web three, the metaverse and, NFT but the big thing that's missing is always interoperability. Though I hoped it would, it doesn’t look like SYKY (pronounced Sy-key) is going to figure it out either. One of the key issues in this space is the reality of accessibility and utility of digital fashion: it is imperative that we can take fashion EVERYWHERE with us. Not just the places that you, the latest product developer, want to. I love Alice Delahunt, she’s ex-Ralph Lauren. I really admire her will to go further than say Aura Blockchain has, but pioneering digital fashion really means going further than Bitmoji and Roblox too. This is low hanging fruit. Ok, ok, SYKY is in its very early stages. According to TechCrunch. It's buoyed by a $9.5 million series A investment led by Seven Seven Six, the most well known of whom includes one Alex Ohanian who says that “the attraction to SYKY came from his obsession with the intersection of technology and culture.” What I would love for Alex to do is get a little bit more excited about interoperability because that way profit lies. I figured it out. I'm just waiting for everybody to catch up. I certainly don't have Alexis Ohanian to support me financially, but I do have Nak3d and that’s even better. Get The Juice MetaJuice has hit a million web3 wallets and has sold out its digital collections in IMVU. You know IMVU don’t you? Those well-known Together Labs peeps, well they’re saying that they’ve distributed more than a million web3 wallets with digital collectibles in the last two years. That's fantastic. But what would be more interesting to know is exactly what these stats and figures really are? In this Venture Beat article, they cover a multitude of what they’ve sold but the figures don’t identify active users of the wallet, only the monthly active users of the popular social media platform itself (and that’s a tidy 4 million). Here’s what I love: street wear items are priced between $3 and $100, the NFTs have sold out in an average of 7.5 minutes per release. This is really big, and also really inaccessible as a news story. This should be much higher on the metaverse news agenda thanks to some of the crap we’re forced to read about this tech bro and that crypto project. These guys have been in operation since 2004 and although the actual facts are pretty difficult to pin down, this is still no mean feat. Looking at their list of top 10 NFT sales, I can see that nobody's actually buying fashion in IMVU. That said, the hottest item collections in IMVU that aren’t NFT actually do contain finished sets of actual fashion. My take on this is once again a complete lack of interoperability. An estimated $54billion will be spent on digital fashion annually according to an analysis by JP Morgan, but if people were buying a bit more fashion, then we might be able to talk about why interoperability is missing from this project too. This feels like a massive walled garden that just happens to be with a web3 lean and digital fashion focus, guys. You need to try a little bit harder. Then I can get even more excited about the possibilities that IMVU has on offer. Warriors Of Web3 Web3 is tough. On the one hand you’ve got a bunch of web2 douches naysaying the whole thing and on the other hand you got a box of mystery and surprise filled with intuitive enterprise tech. Like that IMVU story, it’s so unlikely that these little treasures will break the Wireds and the Venture Beats of the world, which is why Metacrun.ch is giving these applications some love. As voted for by Analytics Insight, the top 10 most popular web3 applications for 2023 are out and they're interesting. I love to explore the opportunities in web3 that will really diversify and leverage how we do absolutely everything, giving us much more open and accessible technology than the dreaded albatrosses of the Silicon Valley Big 4 (can you tell that I deregistered my Microsoft account? It’s poo). From creating decentralised apps on a new blockchain platform to providing decentralised encrypted cloud storage; new tubes, an open platform, and how about a brand new Zoom? A super safe browser, a social blogging site, and the most private messaging app powered by Solana. Go go 2023. Yesterday's News Speaking of Wired, it’s great to see that they’ve been following Metacrun.ch closely and have even written their own version of our virtual landowner story from your newsletter a few weeks ago but with added class war shenanigans. Ever forward, guys. Lower Your StandARds Apple has reported to have shelved its AR project. They've had some “technical challenges”. Oh, I wonder what they could be? Maybe it's the fact that everybody knows that devices are having a wobble lately. Popping the AR glasses project on the back burner to focus on a cheaper MR device seems better because Apple needs to become more affordable. Could 2023 be the year that big tech stops doing stupid launch events for associated crapware? Meta is a prime example of how little we care about your stupid company updates. We’re not your shareholders, well, some of us are, but we’re your consumers, just give us what we can afford, would you? The days of Steve Jobs thought leadership and messianic glimpses of the future are utterly worthless and forgettable. Why not put your energies into the end user and what they can afford, and what they can do, before you even start going in the direction of creating yet another piece of device hardware? What Is The Metaverse? Part 347 An “ongoing digital transformation”. Is that just another way of saying “we don’t know what we’re doing with the metaverse?” I was in Davos this week, and apparent leaders in the web3 space came together at the WEF to bore the living daylights out of most people who are, you know, just out there, building stuff and not looking for a guru. Thanks for defining and discussing the first outputs of the metaverse, none of us asked for it. Yat Siu and Cathy Li (who?) whose names were spelled wrong in the article, to Huda Al Hashemi (who?): one of the panellists and the deputy minister of Cabinet Affairs for strategic affairs in the United Arab Emirates. Again, I'm really looking for people who are ACTUAL leaders in the web3 space rather than bags full of hot air. Yat aside, who I really respect and admire, I'm disappointed by the evidently dry old lineup of mouthpieces who also just read books and articles and do very little to move things forward. Isn’t anyone amped by Seoul going fully metaverse with their city-wide project? Why doesn't anyone report on that? So I’ll close this week by laying on the maximum amount of praise to South Korea for bringing it every single goddamn day. That’s enough Metaverse for this week.