If you’re getting your hashtags in a twist over a daily limit of 600 posts, shouldn’t you be doing something more productive with your day? Yeah, you know, like, reading this newsletter and learning all the cool things that are happening in this wonderful metaversal world of tech and web3.
👗The Lux Hole
There are two types of fashion in anyone’s wardrobe: the things you wouldn’t be seen dead in at a party and the things that have looked amazing on you since the dawn of time. SKYKY is the former because in its short life, this fabulous fashion-forward startup has accomplished much—of course it has, it’s led by someone who has a great deal of experience at the top of fashion without ever running an empire, until now. Well, SYKY has partnered with the esteemed British Fashion Council Incubator. A dazzling array of cutting-edge designs and virtual fashion shows that will make your pixels sizzle, but your bank balance is relatively untouched—why? Because I can’t see many regular Joe’s like me, or you, getting behind yet another Central Saint Martin’s end of year thing which is now some kind of incubator. Fashion revolution? Why not start with the luxury gap first instead of getting sucked into an elitist black hole? Fashionistas, get ready to do absolutely nothing at all for a little bit whilst luxury tries to make foie gras in its own cliquey circles.
🚀Gartner And The Tech Boi
Gartner, the lexicographic peddlers of such classic songs as “The Trough Of Disillusionment” are back! Following up on the classic first album, they’ve returned with a story of failed widespread metaverse adoption and how broken Silicon Valley was over it. Forget Carly Simon or Elton John, this is a new album with tracks such as “Please Don’t Stop (Investing In Gartner)” to the heady heights of “It’s Not Over ‘Til It’s Over” that’s obviously a cover, but nonetheless the hits keep coming. From PwC to McKinsey: they’re all trying for a new angle, but Gartner will always have the edge on this because dropping absolute floor fillers occasionally like “The Metaverse Will Soon Be The New Normal” is enough to soothe the fevered tech boi brow. As you were, everyone—there’s zero to see here.
⚖️Perry Masonverse
Ever wondered what the future holds for careers in the metaverse? Well, brace yourselves, because the virtual courtroom is happening— well kind of. Somnium Space doesn’t really count, does it? There’s a reason I don’t feature it in my top ten. It’s because it absolutely sucks. Yes we all scoffed when those folks were doing that weird stuff at the behest of Meta to raise the profile on what Horizon can do but scoff ye not, this is serious. According to “experts”, the metaverse could give rise to a new breed of lawyers specialising in virtual property rights and digital dispute resolution. Imagine standing before a virtual judge, run by AI obviously (because it’s 2023), passionately defending your client's pixelated rights on OnlyFans. Now let’s take an extra step and place every single court ruling and precedent on blockchain. BINGO! Now that’s a metaverse. The Rest is PR (which is an excellent podcast btw).
🍽 What If You Could Taste the Metaverse?
I have a very good, no, one of my best friends who has been working in AI for a million years. She and I love nothing more than arguing in cafes loudly about haptics vs phantom touch. But we have never argued about the sense of taste in the metaverse, though I would argue that perhaps most of what I’ve experienced in the metaverse is fairly tasteless. Researchers and developers are exploring ways to incorporate taste sensations into the virtual experience—mechanical jaw patches? Anyone? Bueller? From digital delicacies to futuristic flavour profiles, the metaverse wants to tantalise our senses like never before. Who needs a boring old salad when you can feast on virtual gourmet creations? Get ready to finally get back to the dress size you were when you were 12.
💳 Mastering the Metaverse
Hold onto your digital wallets (especially my Solo Wallet), because Mastercard is making waves in the metaverse with its blockchain app store! This exciting venture aims to provide a secure and seamless platform for metaverse enthusiasts to explore and purchase virtual goodies. Say goodbye to those clunky in-game payment systems and hello to a world of frictionless transactions (kind of). With Mastercard leading the charge, the metaverse is set to become a shopper's paradise but I wish, wish, wish for one thing which Mastercard might not er, master: mass adoption. Why? Because they’re looking for customers for their main mastercard, the blockchain app thing isn’t their main focus—and lose all those millions on credit card handcuffs? No way!
💙 WTF News
Gird your hoop dreams for a fashion revolution as Puma, in collaboration with Web3 streetwear brand Gutter Cat Gang and NBA sensation LaMelo Ball, unveils an extraordinary collection of NFT sneakers. The highly anticipated "GutterMelo MB.03" collection, designed by Ball himself, combines cutting-edge digital art with tangible footwear, creating a groundbreaking fusion of physical and digital fashion. Anyone and everyone will have the opportunity to own a piece of this innovative collection, which will be minted on the renowned NFT marketplace OpenSea. Puma's visionary approach is a bit enlightening for me and though this partnership not only embraces the metaverse but also redefines the boundaries of self-expression and individual style, I’m kind of wondering whether Diadora and Kappa might follow suit? I hope so because I want those 1987 Pat Cash sneaks. On a pure anecdotal level, I saw these in action last week at Art Basel, and I have to say, they are pretty damn cool.
🖼Breathe Somewhere Else, Please
Do you want to buy an NFT from a useless millionaire? Well you’ve come to the right place. In a surprising twist, former First Lady Melania Trump has released her very own NFT titled “Yearning to Breathe Free.” This is a collection about the USA in 1776 (presumably after the declaration of independence). This is the state of the world in 2023. I’ll admit, some people love her, I am not one of these people. But there's no denying the impact this controversial NFT has made. Whether you're a collector, a political aficionado, or simply curious about the intersection of art and politics in the metaverse, this release has definitely sparked some heated discussions. Mostly focused on why we should care about the products from a woman whose “Don’t Care” jacket was worn enroute to a migrant child detention of which “portion of proceeds will go toward Fostering the Future,” a “Be Best Initiative” that supports children in foster care. It does not say what portion, so it could be anywhere from 1 percent to 100 percent of the proceeds.”
That’s enough metaverse for this week, I’m off to find some metaverse morsels to munch on in a bid to get into that bikini (please don’t puke on your lunch). Still bored? Check out Machine Learning, a new section on our website where you, yes, you, can tell us what’s going on in your sector of industry and tell us everything about the metaverse through your eyes!
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